I thought my days
of being bullied would end when I graduated from high school, but apparently
that was not the case. Through my years of life experience, I have learned that spiritual warfare is alive and
well on planet earth. I define spiritual warfare as God's angels coming to the aid (through speaking God's Word and prayer) of God's children (believers) as satan and his fallen angels attempt to destroy our lives.
Ephesians 6:11-13 (NLT)
Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm
against all strategies of the devil. For we are
not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and
authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and
against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Therefore,
put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in
the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm.
I like the way the Message translation words it.
It says:
Ephesians 6:10-18 (The Message)
God is strong, and he wants you
strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of
the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to
everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest
that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for
keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels.
Be prepared. You're
up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can
get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting
you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation
are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your
life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is
essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers
and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one
falls behind or drops out.
Satan and his demons watch and study
us very closely. They know what pushes our buttons. They know what hurts us the
most and they will use people and circumstances to attack us.
1 Peter 5:8 (NLT)
Stay
alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a
roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.
I read a book called “The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman." In it I learned that
everyone has their own love language and they use that love language to
communicate their love to the people in their lives. The problem with that is,
unless the other person has the exact same love language it will not be
received as love.
Finding
out someone else’s love language gives you the ability to communicate your love
to the people in your life in their love language so they will be able to
receive it. At the end of the book there is a test you can do to find out what
your love language is. There will sometimes be 1 that is dominant and sometimes
there are 2 or 3 that are very close which would mean that you have more than 1
love language (you are bilingual). Once you read the book you can often figure out what other
people’s love languages are if you hang around them long enough.
The
5 love languages are:
1.
Touch
2.
Acts of Service
3.
Gifts
4.
Quality Time
5.
Words of Affirmation
Here is a link to the website where you can take the quiz if you are interested.
When I did my love
language test, Quality Time was at the top at 10 points with Words of
Affirmation right behind at 9 points. The rest were much lower (5,3,5).
When you receive the
exact opposite of your love language, it hurts even more than usual because
it's your love language. For example, if your love language is touch and your spouse (or parents) never hug you or put their arms around you, it hurts a lot, but if your love language is gifts and your spouse (or parents) shower you with gifts, you
aren’t going to care as much that they don't hug you.
So quality time and words of affirmation are my love languages. Words of affirmation are kind words that make you feel good about yourself, compliments. When I receive the
opposite of my love language (words of affirmation), for example, if someone calls me names, belittles my
existence or threatens me, then it hurts me twice as much because it is one of my
love languages.
With that being said,
satan and his demons began attacking me with the opposite of words of affirmation through some bullies in high school. After graduation they used the
same amo through a relationship I was in with a guy, then through a really bad
boss, then through my niece and just in May 2012 through my tenant. I was
renting out my basement suite to a guy.
He was late paying his
rent for May so I put a reminder notice on his door. When he came home and
found the notice he became very angry. He knocked on my door and when I opened
it I could tell by reading his body language that he was really angry before he
ever spoke a word. He proceeded to raise his voice as he hurled insults,
belittled my existence, made up lies and threatened me. It was clear to me he
had no intention of paying his rent. I tried to remain calm at least outwardly while inside I just wanted to curl up into the fetal position and hide.
The same feelings of
fear I used to have while being bullied in high school, in a past relationship, etc., returned. Near the end
of the conversation I could not take it anymore. Unfortunately, in a moment of weakness I stooped to his
level and hurled some of my own insults back. Of
course, none of mine were nearly as nasty as his, but still I was
disappointed in myself for not responding in more of a Christian way. It was
clearly another attack from satan using the exact same amo.
Matthew 5:43-47 (The Message)
"You're familiar with the
old written law, 'Love your friend,' and 'Hate your enemy.' I'm challenging
that. I'm telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you,
not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of
prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created
selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain
to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If
all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If
you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any
run-of-the-mill sinner does that.
My point is, we are all
only human and we will never behave perfectly at all times, but if you have the
Holy Spirit living inside your heart then He begins to change you little by
little. The old me (before I came to know and love Jesus) would have responded
a lot worse.
None of us can behave
better for any length of time without God, BUT
with Jesus by our side and with the help of the Holy Spirit we will begin to
change as we surrender our will and plan for Gods.
So the next time you
behave in a way that you regret, I don’t want you to beat yourself up about it. Apologize to the person and bring it to God, repent (means you're sorry and you have no intention of repeating the same action). If you haven’t yet invited Jesus into your heart
then do so and ask Him to help you. He will. If you want help inviting Jesus
into your heart and life just ask and I would be happy to help.
Now for the best part
of the story, immediately after this horrendous conversation my aunt
shows up at my door. She tells me that she was on her way home when she heard
God telling her, “Go check on Rowena, Go check on Rowena.” I was so glad she heard God and obeyed
because I REALLY needed someone to
talk to at that moment.
When she told me that
God told her to check on me I cried because I knew at that moment that God saw
the whole ugly event take place. He saw someone picking on His girl (that would
be me) and He sent reinforcements to help me when I needed it the most. In THAT moment I tangibly FELT how much God loves me and it felt so amazing I can't even put it into words. J
Satan came at me with
the same attack that he has hit me with through other people many times before; one
that he knows leaves me shakin’ in my boots. But it totally backfired on satan
because God took what satan intended to hurt me and He turned it into something
good.
Genesis
50:20
As
for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good…
Now, instead of thinking about
how horribly unfair I was treated and getting upset and mad, anytime I think about it I can’t help but smile because all I can think
about is how God used that situation to show me how much He loves me. J
God's love is so pure (limitless, immense); it is so much greater and far more powerful than any love you will ever find or experience here on earth. God does not play favorites and He loves you just as much as He loves me. He is waiting with open arms for you to turn towards him and run into his welcoming arms. Only you can make that choice; no one can make it for you.
