Message from God on Suicide

I was driving down the road on my way to visit my mom when I felt that familiar Holy Spirit nudge. I had just driven past a young lady who was walking down the street. She wore a dark hat and had ear buds in her ears. I was sensing that she was contemplating suicide. I kept driving, thinking it's just my overactive imagination. After about 2-3 blocks the nudge became much stronger. I pulled over and said, "OK God, I'm sensing you want me to go talk to that girl. I feel like a fool, but I'm willing to be a fool for you." I turned around and as I was driving back I said, "OK God, if this is you she will still be walking down the same street." Sure enough she was. I felt like God wanted me to tell her, "Don't do it!" and "He loves her." 

I rolled down my window and pulled up beside her. She pulled her ear bud out of her ear. 
(I don't remember the exact conversation word for word, but I will do my best.)

"This might sound strange, but I was wondering if you believe in God?" I asked.
"Actually, I'm an atheist." she replied.
"I feel like God wants me to tell you something. Sometimes this happens to me and I have to do what He tells me to do." I explained.
"What is it?" she asked.
"He wants me to tell you --Don't do it!!" 
(She dropped the leaf she had been carrying in her hand and held her hand over her mouth. Her eyes filled up with tears. There was a long pause as she collected herself.)
"That is profound actually." she uttered. "Can you keep a secret?"
"Yes I can." I replied (which is why she will remain anonymous).
"I have been considering suicide." she explained. 
"Don't do it!! God loves you!! Don't do it!!" I repeated.

I asked her if she wanted to talk. She said no she had to go. As I drove away I felt like I needed to give her some sort of contact information. I pulled over and waited. I wrote the name of my church and the time and day I attend on a piece of paper. I also wrote, "Don't do it!" Once she caught up to my van I pulled up to her and gave her the piece of paper explaining what it was for. I also told her I had the perfect book that I wanted to give to her. I told her it was a book for teens on teen suicide. I told her I was on my way to see my mom, but I had to return home because I had forgotten my cell phone so I could grab the book when I pick up my cell phone and come right back. She said she would walk slowly. I raced home and grabbed my phone and the book. When I returned with my booklet in hand she was sitting at the corner of the street. I walked over to her, wrote my contact information on the inside cover and handed her the book. We said our goodbyes and I returned to my van. 

As I was driving to my mom's place, I kept praising and thanking God for using me to help her. I thanked the Holy Spirit for nudging me. I thanked the Holy Spirit for making me sensitive to His nudges. I thanked Him for His persistence when I was trying to write it off as nothing and go about my own business instead of His. My adrenaline was pumping. I was feeling energized and excited. I prayed for that young lady for the remainder of my drive. 

What if I had ignored those nudges? What if I decided it was too awkward and kept on driving? What if I decided I was too busy or thought I was just imaging the whole thing? Because of my willingness to be obedient, regardless of how I felt, that young lady's day has been dramatically impacted. She is not going to forget this. 

Being used by God to reach out to others who are hurting is the most amazing, exhilarating feeling. You don't have to have any special talent or ability to be used by God. All you need is a willing Spirit and a listening heart. There is no pressure, you're just the messenger. God is constantly looking for people who are willing to make themselves available. 

*The name of the book I gave her is called, "Suicide, helping you and your friends live - special teen edition of "Why They Die" by Jerry Johnston with Don Simmonds. If you would like to purchase copies of this booklet please click this link: Suicide - Helping you and your friends to live - Teen Edition

Nikki's Story

I want to introduce you to Nikki and tell you his true story. Nikki is a green and yellow parakeet who has led quite an adventurous life. He was chilling with the sparrows, going wherever they went, doing whatever they did, eating whatever they ate. He was an independent parakeet. He was taking care of himself. He didn't know that his life was in danger from predators every single day. He didn't know that winter was soon to come and if he remained with the sparrows he would soon be dead. 

One day he was enticed by some millet inside the safety of a cage. On that day he had a choice, continue eating what the sparrows were eating or try the millet. He chose the millet. He entered the cage, tried the millet and discovered that it was good, so good, in fact, that he no longer desired the food the sparrows ate.

He got to know the person who provided this millet and discovered that because he chose to eat the millet she had saved his life. Over time and much more millet he got to know her better and now she has become his best friend.

Answer Key

• The sparrows symbolize unbelievers and going along with the crowd.
• The sparrow food is whatever the world calls fun (drinking, drugs, parties, the bar scene, pornography, promiscuity, etc.) .
• Winter symbolizes the end times and the return of Jesus.
• The millet symbolizes God' word (the Bible)
• The safe cage symbolizes the church.
• The best friend symbolizes Jesus. 

STOP!!

Before reading on, please do me a favor; after reading through the answer key, go back up to the beginning and re-read Nikki's story. Then return here to continue reading. 

This is the true story of a parakeet that hung around my back yard bird feeder with the sparrows for most of this past summer. In the fall I was finally able to capture him and not a moment too soon. He would have surely died in the cold outdoors. My son wanted to name him Nikki which is short for Nicholas Cage since he's in a cage, I know, funny guy. 

Please don't misunderstand the cage symbolizing the church, I'm not saying the church is a cage, I'm referring to the cage as a place where you can feel safe. If you find a church where it's members are actively operating in the gifts of the Holy Spirit you will feel welcome, loved and safe. 

I hope you enjoyed my analogy and God bless you richly. 

Tired of the struggle? Want to find peace and feel complete? Read on!

I watched a video last week that really touched my heart. I felt the need to talk about it after which I will share the link. First, I have to say how blessed I feel to live in Canada. We can go out and buy a Bible with so many different translations to choose from. Many local churches will even give you a Bible if you can't afford one or simply don't have one. We can also download a Bible app to our smart phones or tablets or access the Bible online. We are free to buy it, to read it and to talk about it. We have free access to God's Word yet at the same time we have so much excess available to us that we end up keeping ourselves too busy for the one thing that will truly make us happy. We have TV, internet, computers, laptops, sports (both watching and playing), cell phones, tablets, video games, movies, DVDs, CDs, MP3s, music, shopping, etc. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying any of these things are wrong. However, if any of these things are done in excess to the point of usurping your regular responsibilities or alienating your friends and family, then it's a problem.

It is all about relationships. We were created, first and foremost, to have a relationship with Jesus and I'm not talking about a casual "yea I've heard of Him" or "yea I believe in Him" and that's as far as it goes. I am talking about pursuing a deep, personal friendship with Jesus - one where you know Him personally, you trust him completely and you talk to him about anything and everything - because you are well aware of how much He loves you and because you have actually experienced that love, now you want to serve Him wholeheartedly as an expression of your deep love and appreciation of Him. That is the kind of relationship I'm talking about and anyone can have that, you can have that. It's like any other friendship, the more time you spend together the closer you become.

In Matthew 22:37-39 Jesus said:

Jesus answered, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and most important command. And the second command is like the first: 'Love your neighbor as you love yourself.'

Who is our neighbor? Our neighbor is anyone we come into contact with. Notice how Jesus said "love your neighbor as you love yourself." There are plenty of people who don't love themselves so they can't properly love others. Maybe they never grew up having a nurturing, loving parent or parents. There are so many different reasons. Maybe you know exactly what I'm talking about. If we grow up not being or feeling loved we will have a hard time receiving love, love from others and the love of our Father God because somewhere deep inside of our heart we don't fell like we deserve to be loved.

Her comes the good part. When we receive Jesus, God's son, as our Savior He comes to live inside of our heart in the form of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit then begins working on our hearts, healing our pain, mending our brokenness, filling that emptiness, exposing damaging lies we have believed about ourselves, revealing the truth about us and the way Father God feels about us and filling us up with His love.

If we don't feel we deserve to be loved we will have a hard time receiving love from God or anyone else. If we don't feel loved it is impossible to fulfill the second command "love your neighbor as you love yourself." If you don't love yourself how can you love anyone else? You can't give away what you don't have.

Thank God He sent His Son Jesus to intercede for us. In Mark 10:27 (The Message) Jesus was telling the disciples how difficult it was for man to get into the Kingdom of God and his disciples asked who has any chance at all. He responded by saying:

Jesus was blunt: "No chance at all if you think you can pull it off by yourself. Every chance in the world if you let God do it."

Have you ever seen that movie "Jerry Maguire" with Tom Cruise and Renee Zellweger? Once Tom realizes what he had with Renee he returns to her and says "you complete me." We were all created with a God-shaped hole inside of our hearts that is reserved only for God and we will never feel complete without Him. We often try to fill that hole in our hearts with other stuff like drugs, sex, alcohol, pornography, etc., but it never lasts. When you allow Jesus into your heart and life and you begin working with the Holy Spirit, you will finally become complete and full of love, so full of love it will just naturally flow onto anyone (neighbor) who crosses your path. The only relationship that can truly complete us is a relationship with Jesus.

You can begin pursuing a relationship with Jesus right now. Pick up your Bible which is the Word of God and start reading it, I recommend starting in the book of John. If you are new to reading the Bible I recommend starting with a (New Living Translation).

John 1:1 (NLT) says:

"In the beginning the Word already existed. The Word was with God, and the Word was God."

John 1:14 (NLT) says:

"So the Word became human and made his home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father's one and only Son."

So Jesus is the Word of God and he was with God before anything was ever created. Jesus (the Word) became flesh and lived among us. God is a three-part God consisting of God - Jesus - Holy Spirit. The Word is the Bible which explains why we would get to know Jesus if we read it. The Word of God is our most valuable treasure on this earth and so many people don't even realize it. So many countries don't have the same freedom we have and you will see in the following video how valuable the Word of God is to those who know what it contains.



It really humbled me and made me realize how lucky I am. If any of my blog posts have touched your heart I want to hear about it. Please leave a comment on the blog post that touched your heart.

Satan injects negative thoughts but God provides the Ultimate Weapon!

Have you ever spent time playing the PAC-MAN game when you were a kid? When I was much younger I spent many hours playing that game and I can't forget Ms. PAC-MAN as well. I remember running around gobbling up pac-dots and running away from those dang ghosts who always seemed to be just a little bit faster. I would grit my teeth and hope to make it to a power pellet with all 4 ghosts hot on my trail. Of course that only lasted for a short time and then they were back again and hot on my trail. If I remember correctly, Pinky was the ghost who usually caused me the most grief. Here is a picture of the game:

PAC-MAN kind of reminds me of myself and what I used to be like. I used to gobble up all of the garbage lies that satan fed to me. I never knew all those negative thoughts that I allowed to have free reign in my mind were actually being fed to me by satan and his army of fallen angels. Thoughts like, "nobody loves you. Things will never change. You're an accident. You don't belong here. You're damaged goods. Nobody cares what you have to say. Your life will never get any better." All of these thoughts were like those pac-dots in the PAC-MAN game and I gobbled them up as my own thoughts (it was my truth, my reality). Of course satan also uses  people to spit forth mean, nasty, hurtful words and like a snake injects venom into its victim we often receive those words as truth.

When I started reading my Bible I discovered that all of those negative thoughts were lies. This is what it says about satan in John 8:44 (NLT)

 ". . . he has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character, for he is a liar and the father of lies."

The Bible actually calls satan the father of lies. There is no truth found in him. When you receive Jesus as your personal savior the Holy Spirit comes to live inside you to lead and guide you through this life and that  includes leading you to wisdom and truth. If you take the time to read God's word the Holy Spirit will be able to reveal God's truth to you and set you free from those lies you have been believing about yourself for so long. The bible says in John 8:32 (NLT)

"And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

That is exactly what receiving Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior and reading the Bible did for me, it set me free. The Bible also says, "He whom the Son sets free is free indeed."

I have learned that God actually loves me exactly the way I am. I learned that even though my parents never planned me He did and that He has good plans for me. Jeremiah 1:5 (NCV) and Psalm 139:13 (NLT):

"Before I made you in your mother's womb, I chose you. Before you were born, I set you apart for a special work." "You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb."

Now I don't just sit back and take it. I no longer gobble up every lie (pac-dot thought) that pops up, I fight back. When the devil tries to feed me more of his garbage lies I open my mouth and speak God's truth and it defeats him every time. Now, when he tries to tell me, "your life will never change" I fight back by throwing scripture back at him and say, "God has good plans for me" as it says in Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT) and Philippians 4:13 (AM)

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me (I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency)."

That last scripture has brought me through a lot of tough situations (spiritual battles). I used to carry it around in my purse and pull it out whenever I needed it. Now I carry it around in my heart and mind. You would not believe how much this discovery has changed my life. It actually says in the Bible in 2 Corinthians 10:4 (NCV)

"We fight with weapons that are different from those the world uses. Our weapons have power from God that can destroy the enemy's strong places..."

I also like the way the Amplified Translation says that same scripture:

"For the weapons of our warfare are not physical (weapons of flesh and blood), but they are might before God for the overthrow and destruction of strongholds,"

God has placed us in this world, but He has not left us without weapons. God's word is a powerful weapon. Prayer and Worship are powerful weapons. We are in a (spiritual) battle everyday and it takes place in our thought life. The enemy's strong places or "strongholds" as the Amplified version words it are those repetitive negative thoughts we have that play over and over in our minds like a broken record.

If you receive Jesus as your Savior and if you start to read the Bible your life is going to change in amazing ways. God's word will come alive. You will begin feeding your spirit the truth and it will take root inside your heart. It will begin to expose the lies that you have been believing for so long, perhaps all your life. Reading the Bible is like PAC-MAN eating those power pellets giving you the ability to defeat the enemy (satan and his lies). When PAC-MAN eats that power pellet those ghosts that were on his heels do a 180 degree turn and head for the hills. When you feel bombarded by those negative thoughts which are like the ghosts in PAC-MAN you just have to open your mouth and quote a scripture of truth and they will do a 180 degree turn and run in the opposite direction. You also need to know that one time will not be the end of it. They will  come back and try again just like the ghosts always come back to chase you in PAC-MAN. However, it does get easier.

Spiritual Warfare

Before I began my close relationship with Jesus, I used to be very interested in the paranormal. I used to read and believe in horoscopes, I used to go to psychic fairs and I had my tea leaves read. I used to love to watch those TV shows on the paranormal and stories of hauntings. I found it all so fascinating. I also loved to watch the psychic shows on TV. I even purchased different types of stones that were supposed to help you with different areas in life like finances or love, etc.

The more time I spend with God in His word which is the truth, the more I learn about how deceived I used to be. There is our triune God, God the father, His word (God the son, Jesus) which is the truth and the Holy Spirit, and there is satan who is also called the father of lies because there is no truth found in him or his gang. In the scriptures below Jesus is talking to the men who were seeking to kill him regarding who was influencing them to behave the way they were:

John 8:42-47 (The Message)

"If God were your father," said Jesus, "you would love me, for I came from God and arrived here. I didn't come on my own. He sent me. Why can't you understand one word I say? Here's why: You can't handle it. You're from your father, the Devil, and all you want to do is please him. He was a killer from the very start. He couldn't stand the truth because there wasn't a shred of truth in him. When the Liar speaks, he makes it up out of his lying nature and fills the world with lies. I arrive on the scene, tell you the plain truth, and you refuse to have a thing to do with me. Can any one of you convict me of a single misleading word, a single sinful act? But if I'm telling the truth, why don't you believe me? Anyone on God's side listens to God's words. This is why you're not listening—because you're not on God's side."

Having suffered for over a decade with agoraphobia and severe panic attacks, I believe I can say that I have had my share of personal experience with spiritual warfare. Dabbling in the occult as I have in the past only added more grief to that experience. Spiritual warfare is when Satan and his kingdom of darkness are working against what God and his kingdom of light are doing on this earth.

At the beginning of my study in God's word I began to question, "If all spirits that are not from God are evil then why do some of them appear to help solve crimes and lead the police to solve murders through psychics or bring comfort to those who have lost loved ones by relaying information from the other side." I believe the answer is because the spirits or "spirit guides" those psychics are listening to are deceiving spirits that work for Satan. Think about it, if they can convince the nonbeliever that they are good spirits who only want to help, then they can fool the nonbeliever into believing there is no heaven or hell, per se, and therefore no need to worry about where we go when we die. They are only helping so they can keep the nonbeliever deceived and from finding out the truth which is, after all, their ultimate goal. If they have to solve a crime here and there or provide comfort to a grieving soul then so be it.

When a close friend of mine began to pray for my healing from panic attacks and freedom from fear he experienced "spiritual warfare" in a dream which is one of the ways they (the spiritual realm) can communicate with us. These dreams (when coming from satan's gang) usually seem very real and are meant to intimidate you and fill you with feelings of fear. I have attached below his words from part of this dream:

"I had a dream with you in it the other night. My ex showed up and I was watching my nephew. She came to me and asked if I could help her husband. I said yes, if you can watch my nephew. She said yes and we walked to where her husband had been 'stuck' somehow in a pool. By the time we got there another man was in the pool and he was a doctor. Her husband was drowning and the man couldn't get him out by himself. I jumped in to help, but it was too late. When I picked him up I saw a big red spot on him and the doctor said “he's been infected.” We pulled him out of the water, but after that I couldn't touch my nephew. I asked her to take my nephew back to my family since I couldn't touch him. She said 'no'. So I was desperately looking around for someone to help me with him. You showed up and you said you came to help me. We both realized that this meant that you had overcome your agoraphobia. I took you to my nephew and you picked him up. Then, somehow I found out that I wasn't 'infected'. I took your hand and we started to go back to my family, but we began seeing "inside" people, like what they were really like and some were evil. They tried to overtake us. They pushed me down trying to get to you and they tied me up. At that point I was kind of waking up, but I claimed that the binds with which they tied me were broken in Jesus' name and I broke free and we left. Then I woke up."

Here is how I interpreted his dream. His ex and her husband represent nonbelievers. Him being willing to help his ex's husband reveals his heart and how he will help anyone in need. The husband being infected represents sin and dark spiritual forces. Him being infected represents our vulnerability to spiritual attack. His young nephew represents purity. Us seeing inside people’s hearts I believe represents our ability (through the help of the Holy Spirit using discernment) to sense when evil forces are at work. Me being over the agoraphobia represents his prayers for my healing.

I think this next part of the dream is very interesting. When the people tried to overtake us and are trying to push him down to get to me shows me that he is my spiritual warrier friend and that he has been standing in the gap and praying for my healing and his prayers have been very effective. Us holding hands with his nephew represents the scripture found in Matthew 18:20 (NLT) "For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.”

Him and I are standing in agreement concerning my healing. He has been praying for my healing and those prayers have been effectively making things happen and it really ticks off the evil spirits that have been holding me in bondage through fear for so long. Since his prayers are being effective they are turning their attention off of me and coming after him. This dream is evidence of that. The dream has the perfect ending though, he knows his authority in Jesus' name and he broke those binds as quickly as they tried to put them on him. What a happy victorious ending. I am so blessed to have a friend like him in my life. Even though he lives in another country, distance does not limit what God can do through a praying friend.

This year I felt God had placed one of my uncles on my heart to pray for him. I know he has, in the past, been tormented by evil spirits. I began to fervently pray very specific spiritual warfare prayers over my uncle. I never told him about it, I just prayed. My uncle does not live close to me and I never get to see him. Once in awhile we will chat live on Facebook or on the telephone, but not very often so to hear from him is rare but it is treasured when I do.

I am not sure if it was weeks or months later but one day out of the blue I received an email message from my uncle saying he had the strangest dream. He then went on to tell me the details of his dream. He had never sent me a detailed email about a dream before this. He had no idea about the prayers I had been praying nor about the dreams I have had and translated, some of which have been prophetic and one which is still coming true now. If you would like to read that one it is called "The Tornado" and it is in my April archives. The other two posts on dreams that I have translated are called "The horse is led to freedom" from March and "Jesus visits me in a dream" from November.

I had prayed that the Lord would send forth his holy warring angels to my uncle and bind up any and all evil, lying deceiving spirits attached to him and remove them from him. I also prayed and asked God if there is any way that I can help him then bring me to his mind and have him communicate with me when the need arises. The fact that he sent me a detailed email about his dream is an answer to the latter part of that prayer. His dream is below:

"I had the weirdest dream the other night at work, while I was sleeping at the hotel. I heard something at my window, so I opened my curtains, and there was an angel or something like it. It had no eyes though which managed to freak the living crap out of me! Its wings were white with gray and bluish tones. It held a a stick with a chain and a spiked ball and wore Roman type clothing. It was at least 8 feet tall and it spoke to me. It said, "It's time." I said I think you have the wrong room lol! I asked time time for what and it said, "It's time for battle" and that's when I woke up. It was so real, and if that is what angels look like I really don't want to meet one! This is the third time this month I have had quasi religous dreams and its all been based on me fighting something evil, and it scares the shit out of me!"

This is how I interpret this dream. My uncle mentions that there was an angel or something like it. It was the "or something like it." The "angel" he saw at the window was, in fact, a "fallen angel" (a demon). Satan and his gang were angels who lived in heaven at one time until pride got the better of Satan and he decided he wanted to be like God, and he was thrown out of heaven along with his gang which happened to be one third of the angels in heaven. Here are some scriptures that explain this:

Isaiah 14:12-14 (NIV)

How you have fallen from heaven, morning star, son of the dawn! You have been cast down to the earth, you who once laid low the nations! You said in your heart, “I will ascend to the heavens; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly, on the utmost heights of Mount Zaphon. I will ascend above the tops of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.”

Revelation 12:9 (NLT)

This great dragon—the ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, the one deceiving the whole world—was thrown down to the earth with all his angels.

Luke 10:18 (NLT)

Jesus said, "Yes, I saw Satan fall from heaven like lightning!"

Revelation 12:7-9 (NIV)

Then war broke out in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back. But he was not strong enough, and they lost their place in heaven. The great dragon was hurled down—that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him.

Revelation 12:4 (NIV)

Its tail swept a third of the stars out of the sky and flung them to the earth . . .

He then goes on to say it had no eyes. These "fallen angels" are from the kingdom of darkness, there is no light in them. This "fallen angel" had black holes where the eyes (the light) should be.

Matthew 6:23 (NLT)

But when your eye is bad, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is!

Angels are filled with light as evidenced in scripture. Below is a description on an angel Daniel saw:

Daniel 10:6 (NIV)

His body was like topaz, his face like lightning, his eyes like flaming torches, his arms and legs like the gleam of burnished bronze, and his voice like the sound of a multitude.

When my uncle saw this "fallen angel" he mentions that it scared him pretty badly. This is another indication that this dream is from Satan as he enjoys instilling fear into people. The weapon he describes the "fallen angel" holding is a medieval weapon called a flail. This "fallen angel" was clearly dressed and prepared for battle, weapon and all. He says it was at least 8 feet tall. From descriptions I have read about people where God had momentarily opened their eyes to the spiritual realm and have seen angels, they have described them to be about 8 feet tall. Since "fallen angels" were angels at one time it would make sense that they would be the same height.

The "fallen angel" said, "It's time for battle." Later on my uncle said to me, "I also had the impression it wasn't him I was to battle with, but beside him." This is the part that truly saddens me and the very reason I felt the urgency from the Holy Spirit to pray these very specific spiritual warfare prayers over him. This "fallen angel" knows my uncle is on his side of this spiritual battle. He also told me this was the third time he had had a "religious dream" that month. This is no coincidence that he was having spiritual warfare dreams at the same time I began to fervently pray spiritual warfare prayers over him.

If you have accepted Jesus into your heart you have nothing to fear. The bible says:

Romans 8:31-39 (The Message)

So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn't gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God's chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture: They kill us in cold blood because they hate you. We're sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one. None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I'm absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.

You need not worry about this spiritual warfare that goes on all around us in the spiritual realms because God has not left us without weapons to fight back. Deceived people need to be freed from the deceptions of Satan and God has equipped us with everything we need. Satan is a defeated foe living on borrowed time and he knows it.

Ephesians 6:10-18 (The Message)

A Fight to the Finish 10-12And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels. Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.

Prayer is one of our most powerful weapons and it should be taken very seriously. It is powerful against the dark spiritual forces in this world. I pray that this post will not only strengthen many of my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, but also that it will shed some light into the truth for those who have areas in their lives where they are still being deceived.

A rare God moment involving a pigeon

April 19, 2010

After spending 6 hours working at my computer, I decided to take a break and enjoy some of the warm sunny spring weather by taking my dogs out for a walk. While I am out walking the dogs I always see pigeons searching for spilled grain on the train tracks. As I continued to walk I noticed one pigeon in particular who looked quite different from any pigeon I had ever seen before. This pigeon was not the traditional grey color. This pigeon was golden brown and white in color.


I walked as closely I possibly could, pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and tried to figure out how to work the camera in my phone. I began to take some pictures of this rare-looking pigeon. I captured a few images and then continued my walk. As I was walking away I thought to myself "what a beautiful unique pigeon." Immediately after I thought that, I heard the Holy Spirit say to me "Just as you think that is a beautiful unique pigeon, I think you are my beautiful unique girl."

I can't tell you how awesome it made me feel to hear those words coming from my "Daddy," which is what I now like to call him after reading "The Shack" by William Paul Young. I found myself smiling and saying, "Aw, thank you daddy."

Do you ever hear from God? Are wondering how it is that I hear from God in this way? Would you like to be able to hear from Him? He speaks to me in several different ways. Sometimes He speaks to me through His word, sometimes through dreams, sometimes through a Christian book I am reading, sometimes through people and sometimes it is the still small voice of the Holy Spirit that speaks to me.


I have found that the better I get to know my "daddy" in a personal way, the more I am able to hear from Him by any of the abovementioned methods. I also know that before I made the choice to put Him first in my life and actively pursue a relationship with him, I never heard from Him in those ways. It wasn't because He didn't want to communicate with me, it was because He left the choice to me to seek Him out for myself or leave Him out of my life. As soon as I started choosing Him, I started hearing from Him.

I saw this unique pigeon while walking my dogs at the beginning of the week, Monday, April 19. I really enjoyed hearing from God in this way and a week later I realized why He spoke those words of love to me that day. He knew how terribly my week was going to end and He gave me something to remember while going through it.

On Saturday, April 24, my dog Sandy that I have shared almost 12 years of my life with passed away. On Saturday afternoon I could tell she was in distress. After several tests and hours later at the vet clinic, her diagnosis was not good and I had to make the most painful choice in love by ending her suffering and letting her go. Losing her is like losing a member of my family and it is extremely painful.

It is only now as I move through this grief that only a person who has loved and lost a pet can understand that I realize why God spoke those words of comfort to me when he did earlier that week. I have been recalling those words of comfort often and it has strengthened me.

I also ended up accidentally taking a picture of my dog Sandy while we were walking that day that I saw the pigeon. I was trying to figure out how to work the camera in my phone and I had accidently taken a picture and she is in it. Little did I know it would be my last week with my beautiful Sandy and one of the last walks we shared together.

I am dedicating this blog post in loving memory of my beautiful dog Sandy.

Be careful what you ask for

Over the Christmas 2009 break I had just finished three years of college training and finally graduated. My son and my niece just left by plane to spend some time with my parents in Fort McMurray. For the first time in a very long time my house was quiet and empty. Not only that but now I suddenly had all of this extra time that used to be spent on my studies. I was feeling rather bored and a tad lonely. The reason I say "tad" lonely is because on the first day I always start out feeling really lonely when I am alone and then I slowly begin to enjoy my quiet time and begin working on projects that I just never have the time to do otherwise.

When I am spending time with my Heavenly Father I often ask Him to show me someone He can bless through me. Some of the larger ways He has answered that prayer request started in the summer of 2008. This is when, I believe, I first began praying this particular type of prayer. I was walking my dogs and asking "Daddy," which is what I now like to call God, to show me someone He could bless through me, someone who needed help. Not long after that request I ended up welcoming an abandoned ferret into my home. Throughout this process he was pooping and peeing all over my house and getting into huge amounts of trouble, more trouble than I ever thought one small fuzzy could find. I had no idea how to care for a ferret nor what they ate. I kept telling myself I can't keep him, he is way too much work, there is no way I can keep him. My intention was to only keep him until the SPCA opened on Tuesday and then I would turn him in.

I quickly joined an internet ferret forum and enlisted the help of ferret "experts." I had to get him eating and he wouldn't eat the ferret food I bought. I had to make something called "Duck soup" to get him back to a healthy weight fast. He still wouldn't eat. I had to syringe feed the duck soup to him only he squirmed so much I couldn't get it in his mouth. I learned from the ferret "experts" that I had to roll him up tightly in a towel and then syringe feed him. That finally worked and eventually he began to eat it on his own. Through this process we bonded and I fell in love with the little fuzzy. By Tuesday there was no way I could even think of letting him go. He now brings so much joy into my life and I feel blessed to have the opportunity to care for him. I, I mean he, has even started his very own blog for children and youth to enjoy. You are welcome to read his blog at http://dukes-diary.blogspot.com/

The second large way that God answered my prayer request for someone to bless was when He reunited me with my long lost niece whom I hadn't seen in 12 years. She had been kicked out of her home and needed a place to live so she could continue attending her high school. This was a large step of faith on my part but I knew God wanted me to do this and if He wanted me to do this I knew He would equip me with everything I needed to be able to do this. Since October 2009 my 15-year-old niece has been living with me.

This Christmas when my son and my niece were away visiting my parents I prayed that same prayer again. I laughed and said to my Daddy, "You are pretty much going to have to bring that person to my doorstep because it is too cold outside for me to be going out much." It was that evening or the evening after that when my doorbell rang. A neighbor that used to live a block away from me was standing on my doorstep. I invited him in and he talked to me about his cat that had surgery three months earlier and had a feeding tube and how he has been nursing her back to health and feeding her through a tube. He had to do so every 2 or 3 hours. The feeding tube was finally out and she was now eating on her own. He desperately wanted a break and to go and visit his family for Christmas. He asked me if I would be interested in taking care of his cat while he went away for a few days.

At first I was very hesitant. This meant, since it was very cold outside, that I would have to warm up my van three times a day and drive to this man's car lot and go into his office to feed his cat and make sure the cat was not getting worse but better. As I was hesitating on this I could hear the Holy Spirit inside me saying "Remember, you asked for someone God could bless through you and you said they would have to arrive on your doorstep and here he is." Even though it wasn't convenient for me I knew I had to say yes. This was something I wanted to do for Daddy. I am attaching a picture of the cat. Her name is Nella.

At this very moment as I write this blog post God has answered this prayer request once again. Right now there is large Portuguese water dog in my house named Bella. This is no easy feat in my small 1000 square foot home, not when I already have two dogs, two cats, two guinea pigs, a chinchilla and a ferret already living in my home. After praying this prayer my ex-husband called and asked if I could care for his dad's dog while he goes out of town for the weekend. My ex-husband is dog sitting his dad's dog only he was called out of town on business and was in desperate need of finding someone who would be willing to care for a large dog. Of all the people God could choose for me to bless He asks me to help my ex-husband. You may find this surprising, especially if you have read some of my other blog posts, but I gladly obliged.

You will notice a pattern here, that there are a lot of animals I am blessing rather than humans. All I can say is God knows my heart and my love for animals and He meets your passion with His need. In this way I am able to help an animal in need which, in turn, helps the human attached to the animal. He also knew my heart for my niece and how fervently I prayed for her over the years.

The conclusion of this blog story is this; be careful what you ask God for because when He answers it will most likely not happen at the most convenient time and you won't necessarily "feel" like doing it. You will be required to move past your flesh (what you feel like doing) and move in the Spirit (what the Holy Spirit inside you wants to do). This is not always easy to do and it does require some practice but once you begin to allow God to use you in this way it is unbelievably rewarding. So go ahead, I dare you to ask God to send you someone He can bless through you and see what happens.

I offer this challenge to all of my readers. If you will do this challenge and God answers your request please send me a message and let me know what happened. I would love to hear about it and if it is alright with you I would love to share your story on my blog. Some people are deceived into believing that being a Christian is boring and for wimpy people. I can definitely say from my own personal experience that that statement could not be further from the truth.

God answers prayers

In May 2008 I felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to write a letter to my brother. I felt the Lord wanted me to write a letter about a daughter he fathered and lost touch with 11 years prior. I felt like I was supposed to talk to him about trying to find his daughter and letting her know she has more family out there who love her. This was not a subject my brother discussed openly and I did not want to write any such letter. I felt like it was bad timing since he was going through a divorce. I, myself, was preparing and studying for a final exam and I didn’t want to deal with any added stress this letter might bring. The Holy Spirit, however, would not leave me alone. I finally wrote the letter on May 9, 2008.

The letter did not bring the desired results but I felt I had done my part and the rest was between God and my brother. Shortly after sending the letter I decided to do a Facebook search for her. I carefully typed in her first and last name and hit the search button. It brought up several pages of womenand girls with the same name from all over the world but none of them were local and I knew none of them were her. This niece of mine had been strongly impressed upon my mind and heart since the day I met her.

I had last seen my niece when she was three years old. My brother had brought her over to my place. I was throwing a 1-year birthday party for my son and I had invited all sorts of family to come over and celebrate his first year in my back yard. She had just recently lost her mom in a car accident and I was feeling so badly for her. She was one of five siblings and now they were going into the custody of their aunt and uncle. Little did I know that it would be the last day I would see her at my place. Shortly after her mother’s funeral my brother and then I were asked to stop calling and leave the family alone. First my niece loses her mother and now her father too. I loved this little girl so much; it broke my heart. I decided to do the only thing I could do, I would pray for her always and wait until she was old enough for me to contact her.

I thought about my niece and prayed for her all the time. Not a year went by when I did not think about her on her birthday or think about the different milestones she was achieving. When my son started school I always looked for her hoping that maybe she attended the same school. I kept a picture of her sitting on her dad’s lap on my wall unit. Since the last day I saw her until now I have never moved that picture. Every time I dusted that picture I would pray for her. I prayed that God would plant a Christian somewhere in her path to help her and guide her toward Him and His love for her. (Later on I found out this prayer had been answered).

On July 22, 2009, I was playing scrabble on Facebook. Originally that was the only reason I joined Facebook. I had just finished playing my scrabble turns on my games and I felt like the Holy Spirit was prompting me to look her up on Facebook again. I thought, “But I just looked her up awhile ago and a bunch came up but none of them were her” but I felt the Holy Spirit nudging me to do so again. I carefully typed in her first and last name and hit the search button. Amazingly, only one girl came up out of that search. I saw that she was local and I just knew in my heart that it was her. My heart jumped for joy. I could not believe my eyes. How could it be that the last time I searched for her so many with her name came up but this time only one? This cannot be explained because it is God and He works in miraculous ways.

I was so unbelievably surprised and excited to see her smiling Facebook picture staring back at me. I ran to my son’s room to tell him the good news. I was so excited he must have thought I was crazy. After twelve long years, it was an answer to my prayers. Once I settled down and I was preparing to send her a message I thought, “What on earth am I going to say to her?” She is not going to remember me and what if I come across as some crazy woman. I didn’t even know where to begin or how to start a conversation with this precious girl I had been praying for and thinking about for 12 years.

I didn’t know what she had been told about her dad, if anything at all. Maybe she had been raised believing someone else was her dad. How would I explain how I know her without revealing who I really was? I had to be careful not to overwhelm or confuse her. I prayed about it first and I typed my message to her. Very shortly after she replied and the questions started. Questions she had every right to be asking since I was a complete stranger to her. She practiced internet safety and didn’t give out any personal information at first. I was immediately proud of her for that.

Our conversations continued and a friendship began. She kept asking about who I was and why I wanted to know her and why I still remembered her after all those years. I told her I knew her dad and I showed her pictures from when she was at my place with my brother. I wanted her to find out her dad’s name from her family and then see that my last name was the same and figure it out for herself. I didn’t feel it was my place to give her any personal information about her dad. I felt like that was the job of her caregivers. Then I found out she had been kicked out of her home on Mother’s Day and it sounded like she had no way of finding out any information about her dad. I decided to help her along in that area and I asked her if she knew her dad’s name. She said a name that was almost my brother’s name only the first letter was different. I asked her if it was possible she might have the first letter wrong since they all pretty much sound the same anyway. Then I asked her to think about why my brother would pick only her up from her place and none of her siblings and take her to a family function on more than one occasion. Then I told her my brother’s name. She wasn’t sure but then she received confirmation from her sister and another one of her aunts. At first she said she didn’t even want to talk to her dad. Then she said she didn’t know what to do. Then she asked me if he would even want to talk to her. It was clear her emotions were all over the place and understandably so.

By August 1st she had confirmed me as a friend on Facebook. Things were moving along very quickly. She informed me that she was feeling so loved and cared for and that is exactly what I had prayed for before I had contacted her. I asked God to pour his love through my fingers, the computer and into my niece. Her spirits were lifted and she no longer felt alone or isolated, she now knew she had a whole other side of her family that loved her and wanted a relationship with her.

My niece had still not told me where she lived. All I knew was that she moved out of the city and lived 5 hours away. One night after one of our nightly conversations I had a dream about her. I dreamt about the name of the town she was located in. When I woke up I went straight to my computer to look it up and see if it was, in fact, 5 hours away. It was not but it was the only large town in that area so I felt like she was near there. My eyes followed the map past the large town and stopped on one particular town. It was like the words were jumping off the page or bolded or something. I knew that this was where she lived. I sent her a message asking if she lived there and she admitted it and asked how on earth I knew. I told her that first God had led me to her on Facebook and now He had led me to her location through a dream.

She told me shortly before I had contacted her on Facebook she had been praying and asking God to help her because she felt so alone, isolated, abandoned and rejected. She believed I was an answer to that prayer. The more I talked with her the more I found out that she did know about Jesus and had been to church and even on a youth mission trip once. She also mentioned she had been baptized. I was elated, another prayer of mine had been answered. Remember earlier I had mentioned that I had prayed for a Christian to be placed in her life to help lead and guide her toward God and His love for her? That prayer was answered through her older brother who started taking her to church. He had been impacted by a Christian woman who had helped him.

I feel that God prompted me, through the Holy Spirit, to write my brother that letter on May 9, 2008, in the hopes of bringing reconciliation between them and our family. That letter was written almost exactly one year before my niece was kicked out of her home. God knew she was going through some tough times and He wanted to send help. When the desired results did not come from that letter God allowed me to find her on Facebook. It is no coincidence that she was the only name that came up in the search this time.

About a week after I started talking with my niece I was walking my dogs and talking to God. I asked Him why I felt such a strong connection with her. He revealed to me that I had connected to her emotionally through my inner little girl. My inner child had experienced the loss of a father first through alcoholism and then through a four year separation. I knew how much it hurt not to have my father emotionally plugged-in in my life to love me, listen to me, to take an interest in my life, to validate me and to help me feel safe and secure. I wanted so badly to save her from that kind of pain. When I realized the connection I told God He was right (as He always is) and I started to cry. As I was crying I walked passed a low bush, just a weed that grows in the field. It was in bloom with light pink flowers. I was already about 10 paces away when I felt like the Holy Spirit was telling me to go back and pick the pink flower. I went back and pulled a flower and continued my walk. I had been carrying a book with me because sometimes I read while I am walking. I took one of the pedals and pressed it in between the pages of the book. Then I realized this flower petal was shaped like a heart. Now I knew why God wanted me to pick that flower, it was His way of saying He loved me. A smile came across my face and I grinned from ear to ear. God had brought restoration for me and now He was doing the same for my niece. If I knew the name of this wild flower I would tell you. I am attaching a scanned image of the flower petal.

God is so good. First He has brought restoration to my own soul through my relationship with Him and now He is bringing restoration for my niece and my family. I am glad I was obedient about writing that letter to my brother. I truly believe my obedience was rewarded. Now that I have found my niece my family is complete. My heart is so full of joy; it overflows with love and thankfulness. Whatever you are going through and whatever circumstances you may be in I want to tell you never give up, never stop praying. If you have invited God into your life and Jesus into your heart He will be working on your behalf. His Word says that He works for the good of those who love him. This story is proof.

Romans 8:26-28 (The Message)

Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

Why was Jesus tempted after being baptized?

December 12, 2007

Matthew 4:1-11

Have you ever wondered why Jesus, after being baptized by John, was led by the Holy Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil? Notice that the devil does not even begin tempting Jesus until he has been without food for 40 days and 40 nights? That would make Jesus a very hungry man.

I believe that is very similar to the temptations we face today. The devil waits until we are in a desperately hungry place in our hearts, whether we are feeling extremely lonely, extremely angry, extremely rejected or hurt. Whatever it is in our circumstances, you can pretty much guarantee that the devil will notice our weak and vulnerable position and take full advantage of it by bringing something extremely tempting into our line of sight or train of thought.

When the devil begins tempting Jesus, he tells Jesus to turn the stones into bread so he can eat since he is so hungry. Jesus responds by quoting from the Word of God (out loud), "It is written: Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God." Notice how Jesus uses the Word of God against the devil's schemes. The bible says,(NIV) Ephesians 6:11,12,

"Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

The quote he responded with is so true. I like the way my sons bible phrases it:

"People need more than bread for their life, they must feed on every word of God."

In order for us to be able to resist the devil as Jesus did, we need to be very familiar with the Word of God. How do we do this? By reading His Word daily, by setting aside quiet time each day to read His Word. Many of you are saying, "I am just too busy to have time to read the bible." If Jesus were standing in front of you right now asking you to spend time with him each day, would you still be too busy? Your priorities will be clear in the way you choose to spend your time, and yes it is a choice. If you have troubles understanding the bible when you read it, then perhaps consider buying a different translation that will make it easier for you to understand. The New Living Translation is my sons bible and it is written in very easy to understand, modern English. Also, pray and ask the Lord to help you understand what you are about to read.

Once you begin to read His Word daily, you will begin to notice that He will speak to you very clearly through his Word. Some days you will read a verse or several verses that are exactly what you needed to hear at that very moment. Other days you will be reading His Word and you will be feeling conviction over something you now know you have to make right.

When you first start setting aside some time to read His word, it may feel like a chore. Do it anyway! After awhile, I promise you, you will begin to look forward to that quiet time you spend with God in His Word. You will begin to crave it, need it.

When the devil comes a knocking to tempt you (and he will) whilst you are in your "desert", you will be equipped. (NIV) Ephesians 6:13-18 says,

"Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests."

Don't be fooled into believing that the devil does not tempt people like that these days. The devil and his army are still very active. Three times the devil tempted Jesus in that desert and three times Jesus responded by quoting scripture. After the third time, the devil left. I feel like I also need to point out in Luke 4:13, which says,

"When the Devil had finished tempting Jesus, he left him until the next opportunity came." The devil won't just try to tempt you one, two or three times. He will take advantage of every opportunity he can find. Not to worry though, keep reading and you will find out why you need only to be alert rather than worried.

The scripture says in (NIV) James 4:7

"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."

That is exactly what he did with Jesus in the desert and that is exactly what he will do with you if you use the full armor of God. I can tell you from my own personal experience right now, my desert is called "loneliness." I grew up needing affirmation and attention from my father, but not getting it, which led me to the devil's cheap alternative. That was by getting attention from boys. I became a boy crazy teenage girl. I then married a man who also did not give me the affirmation and attention I so badly craved. Then my husband left me and I was all alone.

Until that point in my life, I always looked to a man to provide me with my value, my self-worth, my reason for living, my joy, etc. If I was not in love with Jesus now and if I was not allowing Him to fill up my need for love, self-worth and value, then I would most certainly be resorting back to my old way of life, which was getting attention from a man.

This "desert of loneliness" has been teaching me how to lean on God in a much more personal way. It has taught me to run to him with all of my needs. And you know what, he meets all of them. There is still, of course, the desire to have a companion to share my life with. I believe when I make it through this desert of "loneliness" and learn the lessons that God wants me to learn, he will provide me with a suitable companion. As any loving father is, he will be sure that this suitable companion will meet his standards and have his blessing.

In the meantime, and I am speaking from personal experience here, the devil is busy trying to tempt me. He knows my weakness is "loneliness." He knows how I used to fill up that need and he is constantly scheming up ways to provide his cheap alternative in the form of inappropriate male temptation. I run to Jesus, and I run to his Word and He helps me. I put on the full armor of God and the devil flees from me.

I believe Jesus was tempted in the desert for two main reasons:

1. So Jesus would show us how to resist the devil's temptations.
   
2. So Jesus would understand what temptation feels like so he would better understand our struggle.