Wandering off the Path

While walking my ferret, Duke, I have noticed something that has given me a wonderful idea for a blog post. We always walk along a well-laid path. Duke sometimes stays on the path and sometimes he wanders off. When he stays on the path his walk is effortless, with no hassles. When he wanders off the path he encounters difficult terrain; difficult for a little guy with only 2 inch legs.

Duke will wander off the path into the tall green grass and rub his scent glands (which are on his shoulders) on the stalks of the grass to mark his territory. He repeats this process all over the place until he is completely lost. He will lift his head up as high as his neck will allow but he can't see anything past what is right in front of him. Once he is lost in the tall grass he also encounters the odd thistle which is very unpleasant. He also wakes up the mosquitoes that are sitting in the tall grass and they begin to bite. Duke tries to find his own way out of the tall grass and back to the path but no matter how hard he tries he just seems to get further and further away from the path. Duke is lucky that I am standing there watching over him as I gently guide him back to the path where he, once again, resumes his walk.

It reminds me of my walk with Jesus. When I became born-again God showed me a new path, one that is narrow but leads to eternity. Up until my early 30s I was making my own path; living my life my way. I was causing myself a lot of heartache along the way. I am not saying that once you become a born-again Christian you will no longer have trouble, because the Bible says otherwise. What I am saying is that when you do decide to give your life over to God and let him sit in the driver's seat, you will have a lasting peace and joy that you cannot find any other way. When I was living my life my way I would often get myself into trouble. I could not see past the problem that was right in front of me and I would feel absolutely overwhelmed. Now that I have a beautiful relationship with my Heavenly Father, when trials come my way they are no longer the main focus of my thoughts. I know that I can look to my Heavenly Father for guidance and direction and He always comes through for me.

Sometimes we, as Christians, can find that we have wandered off the path, but as soon as we realize we have lost our way and ask our Heavenly Father for help He gently and lovingly guides us back to the path. Sometimes you can start off by making one wrong move or bad decision which then leads to another wrong move or bad decision and before you know it you are in trouble way over your head just like the tall grass Duke gets lost in. So much so that you cannot imagine how you are ever going to get through it. That is when you need to realize that you were in the driver's seat again and you need to let God take over and steer you back in the right direciton.

Duke would wander off the path, rub shoulders with the blades of grass and end up lost. This represents temptation. Something you know is wrong but looks so enticing. You begin to convince yourself that just this once won't hurt or just a little bit won't hurt and before you know it you have wandered off the path. The thistles in the tall grass which Duke encounters represent sin and temptation which try to ensnare us. The mosquitoes Duke encounters when he wanders off the path represent satan and his evil plans to suck the life and joy out of you.

Matthew 7:13,14 (NIV)
Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

Proverbs 4:11 (New Century Version)

I am guiding you in the way of wisdom, and I am leading you on the right path.

The Tornado

April 2, 2009

During my time with God in my sunny spot on the couch this morning, I was reading from 1 Samuel chapter eight to ten. Samuel was getting old so he appointed his sons as judges over Israel; however, his sons were perverting justice and the Israelites asked Samuel to appoint for them a king to rule over them. The Lord told Samuel that the Israelites were rejecting Him as their King and informed Samuel that he will give them a king who will rule over them. This king would be Saul. When Samuel informed Saul about the Lord’s plan Saul responded by saying he was from the smallest tribe of Israel and his family was the least of all families. He could not understand why Samuel would say such a thing.

Samuel took a vial of oil and poured it on Saul’s head, anointed him and kissed him. He told Saul who he would meet as he went home and what would happen on his journey. When Saul reached the hill of God, the Spirit of the Lord came upon him mightily and he showed himself a prophet. 1 Samuel 10:6 (AMP) actually says he was turned into another man and 1 Samuel 10:9 (AMP) says God gave him a new heart.

After I finished read this, I was sitting on the couch pondering how it must feel to have the Spirit of the Lord come upon you. The Holy Spirit brought to my mind a dream I had that I call “The Tornado.” (I just realized this now as I am typing this, but I had this dream on April 1, 2005 which is almost exactly four years to the day.)

The Lord was revealing to me a clearer understanding of that prophetic dream. In my dream I was taking shelter from a tornado inside a wooden hut. Inside the shelter are two friends of mine. Suddenly a man enters the shelter. I take one look at him and I instantly know that I love Him and He loves me and that He is sent to me from God. He yells that the tornado has touched down and is headed toward us. The tornado rips the door of the wooden hut off its hinges. It starts to pull the Man I love. He reaches out His hand and I place my right hand in His and He holds me tight. I turn around and ask my friends to grab my hand but they don’t move. They are too afraid; I can see it in their eyes. The forces of the winds are pulling me towards the open door. It is at this moment I realize that I have to decide if I am going to let go of this Man’s hand and save myself or not. I decide not to let go of His hand. The tornado is right over top of us now and it rips the roof off. The Man, whose hand I am holding, and I get sucked up into the middle of the tornado.

I have just explained to you the first part of my dream. Before today, I have always wondered if that tornado dream was, in fact, prophetic, but after today I am convinced it is. I just watched an interview this morning on It’s A New Day with author W. Paul Young who wrote the book “The Shack.” Paul was describing that the shack he refers to in his book is his heart. I have heard that this book is really good and it is on my summer reading list.

The Lord then reveals to me the meaning of the first part of my dream. The wooden hut that I hide inside for shelter is my heart. I never realized that before. Do you see the similarities from Paul’s book? I never would have thought of that if I had not just watched the program. It is amazing how God uses people to speak to us. The Man who enters my heart is Jesus. Before I realized the wooden hut represented my heart, I was not sure what the meaning was of the man in this dream but now it is crystal clear. I had this dream after I had asked Jesus into my heart. After Jesus enters my heart the door is ripped off its hinges and the roof it torn off. This symbolizes that Jesus had begun working in my heart. When He entered my heart, it was full of thick, tall walls all the way around it to shelter myself from the world and the people in it. Jesus was breaking down those walls, the very walls I had so carefully put up, brick by brick, after each wounding in my heart took place.

Philippians 1:6 (NIV)
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

The friends inside the wooden hut represent my old life, my old nonbelieving friends and the fleshly things of this world. Once I am holding Jesus’ hand I am given the choice of either letting His hand go or hanging on for dear life. Either I can hold on to the fleshly desires and things of this world, hold on to the bitterness, the resentment, the anger, the unforgiveness, etc., or I can choose to not let go of Him and let Him transform me into a new person.

2 Corinthians 5:17 (NLT)
This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

It is interesting to me that in my dream I had to decide if I was going to let go of this Man’s hand and save myself or not. The funny thing is, I chose not to let go of His hand and that is exactly what I needed to do in order to be saved. I thought that if I let go I would save myself but I was only fooling myself by believing that lie. Satan often tries to make the things of this world seem so appealing that we don’t want to or don’t think we can give them up. For example, after accepting Jesus into your heart He might start dealing with you about all of those little white lies you tell throughout your day, or he may start dealing with you about how you need to stop drinking alcohol and hanging with certain friends that are bad influences.

I will continue now with the next part of my tornado dream. The roof has just been ripped off the wooden hut and the Man and I have been sucked up into the midst of the tornado. Inside I am spinning around and around. Dust and debris are flying all around me. I am screaming at the top of my lungs, feeling as if I am going to die. I am terrified for my life. Suddenly, I am thrown from the tornado and I land on my knees in the mud. I am badly injured. I look beside me and the Man whose hand I was holding is also on His knees in the mud right by my side.

I believe the tornado symbolizes the tests and trials in my life. The tornado symbolizes my divorce and the years that led up to it. The tornado symbolizes the panic disorder with agoraphobia that hit me hard and stopped me dead in my tracks in 1995. The tornado symbolizes all of the other hardships I have endured throughout my life. Remember how I described feeling like I was going to die and being terrified for my life in the midst of the tornado? That is exactly how I feel in the midst of a panic attack. I also believe the tornado symbolizes how God deals with us about old baggage from our past that he needs us to deal with and face in order to bring healing and restoration in our lives. The amazing part that brings tears to my eyes is finding out that Jesus is going through it right beside me. Jesus is right by my side. Isn’t He amazing? He will never let go of your hand. God does not promise us we will never have to endure hardships but He does promise He will never leave us.

Hebrews 13:5 (NLT)
“I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”

Although I have had panic disorder with levels of agoraphobia for 13 years now, I truly believe that if the Lord had not allowed this to happen to me, I never would have turned to Him. Before the agoraphobia and panic I was so full of myself, so selfish and conceited. It was during the lowest part of my marriage and the lowest point of the panic disorder that I hit rock bottom. I had nowhere left to turn and I had no idea how I was going to survive anything else in my life. I finally stopped looking inside myself to try to save myself and I looked up. When I looked up I found a loving, caring Father with His arms stretched out towards me, waiting patiently for me to come to Him; for me to choose Him.

I will continue now with the next part of my dream. I am on my knees in the mud with the Man beside me. Some people gather us up and take us into a large school for shelter and safety. I am injured and limping yet I go right to work helping the volunteers by serving juice and snacks to the scared children inside. I stop once in awhile and tell them a funny story to make them laugh. Someone announces that the storm is heading towards the school. They warn everyone to stay away from the windows and doors or risk being sucked out. I look out a window and I see more kids outside running towards the school. All of the doors are locked from the outside. I look around and not one person is willing to risk their life to go and open the door for the children outside. I run over to the door and let the remaining children inside. The door is being pulled so hard by the strong winds, I cannot pull it shut. I leave it open and stand back, waiting for the storm to pass over.

The part in my dream where I am injured and limping symbolizes how my heart and soul have been injured in my past but I don’t let that stop me from serving God. I am then serving juice and snacks to the children inside and trying to make them laugh. I want to see joy on their faces. This is my desire now to serve the Lord with all of my heart and to share what God has done for me in my life. The children are, of course, all people (God’s children). Even though I still suffer with panic disorder and agoraphobia, I do not let that stop me from my desire to share God’s work in my life and what He has done for me. My desire is to see others find the same joy that I have found in Jesus. I have begun to do so by creating this blog. It is not always easy to share the intimate details of my life but I feel the Lord has asked me to do this in order to help others.

There are more parts to this tornado dream but I cannot share them with you at this time as I feel this dream is prophetic and the Lord has not yet revealed to me the remainder of the meaning of this dream. I hope that my story has brought you some comfort and hope.

Hurtful Words

As I was reading the book entitled, "Emotionally Free," by Dr. Grant Mullen, MD, this afternoon, God revealed something very important to me. I have been struggling with a severe panic disorder called agoraphobia, which is basically the fear of leaving my home. I can leave my home but I don't go very far. This has been going on for about 12 years now. This is one of the reasons my husband left me in February 2004.

In this book, I was reading about how Dr. Grant Mullen, MD had found some common and damaging lies that satan (I refuse to use a capital letter for satan...lol) uses to torment our minds. The first one on the list said, a"You are worthless, hopeless and incapable of change." When my husband and I were arguing one day so long ago, he had said something so very hurtful to me that I have never forgotten it. I still remember it word for word because it hurt so deeply. He said, "You are a useless waste of skin, sitting at home, waiting to die."

God revealed to me that satan used my husband to speak that first lie on the list to my face. God showed me that I might as well just picture my husband standing aside and satan standing there saying those hurtful words to my face. My husband was merely the instrument satan was able to use to hurt me.

I have never before been able to separate those hurtful words (sinful act) from my husband before. Now that God revealed this lie to me and showed me what actually took place that one day so long ago, I can finally forgive my husband and let go of those wounded emotions that are attached to that memory. Of course the memory is still there, but now the emotional wounds that were attached to that memory are now gone.

God's Word says in John 8:32 (NLT):

And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

As I continue to spend time with God and study His Word, He continues to set me free from past emotional wounds. He is so amazing how well He takes care of me. God's truth says that I am a precious child of the almighty God. I am special and valued. God has good plans for my life, plans filled with hope and a future.

Jeremiah 20:11 (NLT)

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

1 Corinthians 1:27 (AMP)

for God selected (deliberately chose) what in the world is foolish to put the wise to shame, and what the world calls weak to put the strong to shame.

I have been judged my many in the world and many have considered me as weak and foolish because of this panic disorder that I have been struggling with, but I know what God's Word says and He is using me to help others. Don't ever feel like you have nothing to give. We can all do something good for someone else. If we take our eyes off of our own troubles and focus on what we can do for someone else, God can and will use us. Don't believe anyone who tells you that you are useless, because you are precious in the eyes of Jesus and He loves you very much.

Bibliography

a Mullen M.D., Dr. Grant. Emotionally Free. Grimsby, ON.: Chosen, A Division of Baker Book House Co, 2000, 2003. Chapter 15, page 97.

Share your Burdens

Galatians 6:2 (NLT)

Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.

Do you ever feel like you are carrying burdens that are too heavy to bear? Perhaps you are feeling that way right now? Do you have someone in your life who will come alongside you during times of distress? Maybe you have co-worker friends, casual acquaintances or casual friends, but in times of distress no one seems to be there to support you. Do you feel like you are left all alone with your troubles? God did not create us to be solitary, He created us for fellowship. The dictionary defines fellowship as, "the companionship of individuals in a congenial (agreeable)atmosphere and on equal terms." God created us for fellowship. Fellowship with Him and fellowship with others.

God actually desires to have fellowship with us but He will never force us into a relationship with Him. Fellowship with God will not happen on its own, we have to want to have fellowship with Him. The New Living Translation of the Bible says it perfectly as follows:

Revelation 3:20 (NLT)

"Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends."

To elaborate a bit on the above scriture, what happens when you share a meal with a close friend? You talk about your life, you share personal experiences, trials, good news and bad news. You rejoice together and you cry together. That is what I feel is the meaning behind this piece of scripture. That is the kind of relationship God wants to have with us through His son Jesus. It is easy to begin to have a relationship with God. You don't have to wait until you are good enough because none of us will ever be good enough, He wants to be your best friend just as you are. He accepts you just as you are. To begin your journey into fellowship with God, all you have to do is believe that Jesus is the Messiah, that He came to earth, died on the cross for your sins and then rose again on the third day and is now seated at God's right side. If you would like to begin your journey into a relationship with God, just say the following prayer out loud right now:

Dear Heveanly Father, I acknowledge that I am a sinner. I repent, right now, for all of my sins and I am asking you to forgive me. You said in your Word, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." (Romans 10:13). And so, I am calling on the name of your Son Jesus, to come into my heart and be my Savior right now. You also said in your Word, "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." (Romans 10:9). I believe with my all of my heart that Jesus died for my sins and was raised from the dead so that I may have eternal life. I thank you Jesus, for taking my sins in order that I can be cleansed and transformed into a new creation. Thank you for welcoming me into your family. In Jesus' name, Amen!

If you just said that prayer out loud, congratulations, I am so happy for you because you have just begun a new chapter in your life, one filled with hope, healing and transformation. I would love to hear from you, please do not hesitate to share with me. Once you have received Jesus in your heart, it is always good to share the good news with someone and let them know about your decision. Confess it out loud.

Once you begin having fellowship with God by inviting Jesus into your heart and life, you begin a relationship with Him. The best way to cultivate your new relationship is by spending time with God by reading His Word, the Bible. If you don't have one you can buy one or even read it online. Many churches will give you a Bible as well. There are many translations, but I would recommend the New Living Translation for new believers, it is very easy to understand and written in easy to understand modern-day language. The scriptures I used for this devotion are all from the New Living Translation (NLT).

Your relationship with God is no different than any of your other relationshiops with regards to the level of closeness and intimacy the relationship has. For example, if you spend time every evening going out for coffee with your buddy Linda, your relationship with Linda will be closer than someone you hang out with once a week or month. You decide how close or how distant your relationship with God will be by how much time you spend with Him. Another example, if you only hang out with God at church, you won't know Him as well as if you hung out with Him everyday. He wants to hang out with you every day. To hang out with God, you can read His Word, talk to Him throughout your day just as you would a friend. Also, make sure you take time to listen for his voice talking back to you, if you spend enough time with God, He will talk to you. So you see, it isn't just a one-sided conversation. You can also hang out with God in prayer or by listening to christian music and/or singing praises to Him. There are many ways to hang out with God. There is no set formula. I enjoy having a conversation with God while I am walking my dogs. We have had some very good conversations that way.

I want to make sure I mention something else. When you accept Jesus into your heart, that does not guarantee a perfect life with no more problems, etc. God never said we would never have trouble, but He did say in Hebrews 13:5 (NLT):

For God has said,
“I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”

When we go through times of distress, God is there with you, walking you through it. Now you never have to go through anything alone again. There is more good news. If you just accepted Jesus into your heart or perhaps if you have but have never found a local church, I strongly encourage you to find a local church to attend regularly. Not only is church a place to go to be fed the Word of God and to worship Him among a community of fellow believers, but also, chruch is a place where you can meet other believers. Remember, when you invite Jesus into your heart you are given a new life, you are born-again into His family of believers (you now have christian brothers and sisters all over the place). Have you ever wished you had a sister or a brother? Or perhaps you have always wished you had a father or mother-type in your life because you either lost your mom or dad or they were not a good parent. Perhaps one or both were abusive in some way. When you enter into the new family of God, His family of believers, you again get to choose how close or distant those relationships will be. When you meet someone at your local church that you really enjoy being around, then cultivate that relationship. Through God's family of believers, He often provides for us the types of people we need in our lives that we never had in our biological family environment. Just remember, don't be too hard on your new brothers and sisters, they are also only human and are not perfect. None of use will be perfect until we get to Heaven.

This is all such wonderful news. Not only do you now have the Almighty God residing within you now, but you have free access to any local church that you feel comfortable in, where you can cultivate friendships with other believers. Just a word of warning though, when you are searching for a church, you need to make sure the church acknowledges Jesus as the Messiah, that He died for our sins and was raised on the third day. Some of the church denominations that I can think of off the top of my head are as follows: Pentecostal, Evangelical, Baptist, Evangelical-Free, Non-denominational and Alliance.

Now when you are going through tough times you, first of all, have God on your side now so you are NEVER alone, you also have a whole new family of believers at your local church who are willing to share your burdens and stand beside you.

Ecclesiastes 4:9 (NLT)
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.

Exodus 17:12 (NLT)
Moses’ arms soon became so tired he could no longer hold them up. So Aaron and Hur found a stone for him to sit on. Then they stood on each side of Moses, holding up his hands. So his hands held steady until sunset.

In the above scripture, Moses was holding a staff up in the air for a very long period of time in order to help the Israelites win the battle against the Amalekites. Moses was feeling overwhelmed with the staff he had to hold over his head for so long, but his son Aaron and his friend Hur stood alongside him and helped him through. When we are feeling overwhelmed by burdens or troubles, we can lean on God and He will carry us through. Also, our fellow christian brothers and sisters will stand alongside and share our burdens.

The Perfect Sunny Spot

Ephesians 1:4,5 (NLT)

Even before He made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in His eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into His own family by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ. This is what He wanted to do, and it gave Him great pleasure.

In the above scriptures God, through Paul, is telling us that He actually set us apart and choose us to be His very own before He ever created the world. God knew man would sin and fall away from His original good plan for us. He knew that and had already planned a way for us to be able to return to His family through His son Jesus before Adam ever set foot on this Earth. Isn't that good news? He adopted us as His very own and made special, loving plans for each and every one of us. Plans that only we can fulfill in our lifetime. People that only we can reach out to and touch with His love. Of course, the choice is always up to us. We can choose to follow His good plan for our lives and put our Creator first or we can choose to follow after our flesh and do what we think we want and need to be happy.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I used to think I knew what I want and needed in my life in order to be happy and I didn't think it included God. I followed my own plans for my life for many years. It never brought me happiness. Sure, maybe I was happy once in awhile for a fleeting moment but never truly happy. I had no peace. I always ended up disappointed and heartbroken. Since I have given my life over to God and let Him take control, I have peace and a joy that isn't only fleeting.

When I spend time with God in His Word, I love to sit in the sun. If it is warm outside, I find a nice sunny spot, usually on my outdoor swing, and I read God's love letter (the Bible). If it is winter, I find a place inside my house where the sun is shining in and I read God's Word there. For me, feeling the warm sun on my face and hair as I read His Word is like feeling the warmth of his unconditional love which is pouring down on me from heaven above. It reminds me of the last part of a scripture:

Revelation 1:16 (AMP)

His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance.

Ephesians 1:18 (NLT)

I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope He has given to those He called—His holy people who are His rich and glorious inheritance.

You and I are His chosen holy people He called. It is up to us to answer that call.

Dear Heaveny Father, flood the eyes of my heart with your revealing light so that I may know and understand how rich and glorious my inheritance is with you. Thank you God for making a way for me to be a part of Your family again.