If you read my August post titled "God answers prayers," you will know that I have recently found a long lost niece whom I had not seen for 12 years. I found her on facebook on July 22, 2009. The last time I had seen her she was 3 years old. She is now 15. She had been raised by an aunt and uncle after her mother had passed away at the age of three. After finding her and beginning communication with her I soon learned that she had been kicked out of her home, the place where she had been raised since she was three. She had been uprooted and forced to leave the only home she had ever known. She had to leave her siblings, her friends, her school and the city where she had been raised and move to a small town where another aunt and uncle cared for her.
After hearing about her situation and her strong desire to return to her home city, school and friends, I wondered if there was anything I could do to help. My family moved around a lot when I was growing up. I knew what it felt like to move and change schools. I knew what it felt like to be the new kid in school. High school was even worse, especially in a small town. I prayed about it a lot and asked God for guidance.
Ephesians 1:16-19 (The message)
I ask—ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory—to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for his followers, oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him—endless energy, boundless strength!
One evening I was chatting with her on facebook and I noticed the words forming through my fingers onto our chat screen before I was even aware of what I had typed. It was like my fingers had a mind of their own. I paused and read what I had just typed. I had mentioned something like "if only she could live with me." Before that I had never even entertained the thought of inviting her to live with me. To be honest, it shocked me to see that it had come out so easily. I felt it must have been the work of the Holy Spirit.
At first it seemed my niece was not comfortable with the idea of living with me. I could not blame her being that I was a complete stranger to her. As the beginning of the school year drew nearer however she warmed up to the idea. There were many things that would have to fall into place in order for this to happen. I had a renter living in my basement suite. I relied on the rental income. I was a single mom and a student. I had no other source of income. I would have to give my tenant 30-days notice to move out so that I could have the basement bedroom for her. I would need to find a way to compensate for the loss of income. I prayed about it and I knew that if this was indeed God's will then the pieces would fall into place.
There was also the issue of the panic disorder that I struggled with and I wondered if I could even handle a new person living in my home. My home had always been my "safe place" and whenever I had anyone in my home I often became very anxious and sometimes panicky. I asked God if I was ready and able to do this and more importantly if He wanted me to do this? I questioned whether I was able to take on such a responsibility. The Holy Spirit brought the following scripture to mind:
2 Corinthians 12:9 (The message)
My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride.."
One afternoon while I was feeding my spirit by reading God's Word, I came across a scripture that spoke to me. This was after I had been praying and asking God if He wanted me to open up my home to my niece and take care of her. This is the scripture:
Psalm 146:9 (NLT)
The Lord protects the foreigners among us. He cares for the orphans and widows, but he frustrates the plans of the wicked.
I had always thought of my niece as an orphan. She had lost her mom at the tender young age of three and shortly after that she had lost her dad too. I felt like God was saying that my taking her under my wing and into my home was His way of caring for his child, my niece. If I wanted to take it one step further I could consider myself the widow in this scripture. I lost my husband, only it was not to death and now God was providing the way to care for both of us.
On the evening of August 12, 2009, during the period of time when I was questioning whether I would be capable enough to take on this responsibility I had a dream. I was standing in a large crowd feeling the way I usually do in real life when I am standing amongst a group of people. I was feeling intimidated, shy and insecure. I was feeling like no one wanted to hear what I had to say nor did anyone care, like I had nothing significant to contribute to any conversation.
All of a sudden this tall, dark man walks up behind me. I can't remember if he placed his hands on each side of my head or on my shoulders be he stood directly behind me. He pressed his nose into the back of my head and took a deep breath, like he was enjoying the smell of my hair. Then he said, "Do you know how special you are?" Instantly I felt so loved, so secure and so special.
The memory of that dream did not come back to me until later on in the day. When I remembered the dream those strong feelings of love and security came flooding back. Instantly I was overwhelmed with the feeling of how much God loved me and how special I was to Him. It was at that moment that I realized the man in my dream was Jesus and this dream was a message from God. He was reassuring me that I was ready and able to do what I needed to do because it was part of His plan. Do you want to hear the funniest part though? In my dream He looked like that actor Brendan Fraser in the movie “Blast from the Past.”
I told my brother and my parents about my intentions to help my niece. The rest was up to God. I soon found out that my parents and my brother (her father) would be willing to pay "child support" if she were to live with me. That along with the scriptures and the dream was all the confirmation I needed to move forward with the plan.
