Spiritual Warfare

Before I began my close relationship with Jesus, I used to be very interested in the paranormal. I used to read and believe in horoscopes, I used to go to psychic fairs and I had my tea leaves read. I used to love to watch those TV shows on the paranormal and stories of hauntings. I found it all so fascinating. I also loved to watch the psychic shows on TV. I even purchased different types of stones that were supposed to help you with different areas in life like finances or love, etc.

The more time I spend with God in His word which is the truth, the more I learn about how deceived I used to be. There is our triune God, God the father, His word (God the son, Jesus) which is the truth and the Holy Spirit, and there is satan who is also called the father of lies because there is no truth found in him or his gang. In the scriptures below Jesus is talking to the men who were seeking to kill him regarding who was influencing them to behave the way they were:

John 8:42-47 (The Message)

"If God were your father," said Jesus, "you would love me, for I came from God and arrived here. I didn't come on my own. He sent me. Why can't you understand one word I say? Here's why: You can't handle it. You're from your father, the Devil, and all you want to do is please him. He was a killer from the very start. He couldn't stand the truth because there wasn't a shred of truth in him. When the Liar speaks, he makes it up out of his lying nature and fills the world with lies. I arrive on the scene, tell you the plain truth, and you refuse to have a thing to do with me. Can any one of you convict me of a single misleading word, a single sinful act? But if I'm telling the truth, why don't you believe me? Anyone on God's side listens to God's words. This is why you're not listening—because you're not on God's side."

Having suffered for over a decade with agoraphobia and severe panic attacks, I believe I can say that I have had my share of personal experience with spiritual warfare. Dabbling in the occult as I have in the past only added more grief to that experience. Spiritual warfare is when Satan and his kingdom of darkness are working against what God and his kingdom of light are doing on this earth.

At the beginning of my study in God's word I began to question, "If all spirits that are not from God are evil then why do some of them appear to help solve crimes and lead the police to solve murders through psychics or bring comfort to those who have lost loved ones by relaying information from the other side." I believe the answer is because the spirits or "spirit guides" those psychics are listening to are deceiving spirits that work for Satan. Think about it, if they can convince the nonbeliever that they are good spirits who only want to help, then they can fool the nonbeliever into believing there is no heaven or hell, per se, and therefore no need to worry about where we go when we die. They are only helping so they can keep the nonbeliever deceived and from finding out the truth which is, after all, their ultimate goal. If they have to solve a crime here and there or provide comfort to a grieving soul then so be it.

When a close friend of mine began to pray for my healing from panic attacks and freedom from fear he experienced "spiritual warfare" in a dream which is one of the ways they (the spiritual realm) can communicate with us. These dreams (when coming from satan's gang) usually seem very real and are meant to intimidate you and fill you with feelings of fear. I have attached below his words from part of this dream:

"I had a dream with you in it the other night. My ex showed up and I was watching my nephew. She came to me and asked if I could help her husband. I said yes, if you can watch my nephew. She said yes and we walked to where her husband had been 'stuck' somehow in a pool. By the time we got there another man was in the pool and he was a doctor. Her husband was drowning and the man couldn't get him out by himself. I jumped in to help, but it was too late. When I picked him up I saw a big red spot on him and the doctor said “he's been infected.” We pulled him out of the water, but after that I couldn't touch my nephew. I asked her to take my nephew back to my family since I couldn't touch him. She said 'no'. So I was desperately looking around for someone to help me with him. You showed up and you said you came to help me. We both realized that this meant that you had overcome your agoraphobia. I took you to my nephew and you picked him up. Then, somehow I found out that I wasn't 'infected'. I took your hand and we started to go back to my family, but we began seeing "inside" people, like what they were really like and some were evil. They tried to overtake us. They pushed me down trying to get to you and they tied me up. At that point I was kind of waking up, but I claimed that the binds with which they tied me were broken in Jesus' name and I broke free and we left. Then I woke up."

Here is how I interpreted his dream. His ex and her husband represent nonbelievers. Him being willing to help his ex's husband reveals his heart and how he will help anyone in need. The husband being infected represents sin and dark spiritual forces. Him being infected represents our vulnerability to spiritual attack. His young nephew represents purity. Us seeing inside people’s hearts I believe represents our ability (through the help of the Holy Spirit using discernment) to sense when evil forces are at work. Me being over the agoraphobia represents his prayers for my healing.

I think this next part of the dream is very interesting. When the people tried to overtake us and are trying to push him down to get to me shows me that he is my spiritual warrier friend and that he has been standing in the gap and praying for my healing and his prayers have been very effective. Us holding hands with his nephew represents the scripture found in Matthew 18:20 (NLT) "For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.”

Him and I are standing in agreement concerning my healing. He has been praying for my healing and those prayers have been effectively making things happen and it really ticks off the evil spirits that have been holding me in bondage through fear for so long. Since his prayers are being effective they are turning their attention off of me and coming after him. This dream is evidence of that. The dream has the perfect ending though, he knows his authority in Jesus' name and he broke those binds as quickly as they tried to put them on him. What a happy victorious ending. I am so blessed to have a friend like him in my life. Even though he lives in another country, distance does not limit what God can do through a praying friend.

This year I felt God had placed one of my uncles on my heart to pray for him. I know he has, in the past, been tormented by evil spirits. I began to fervently pray very specific spiritual warfare prayers over my uncle. I never told him about it, I just prayed. My uncle does not live close to me and I never get to see him. Once in awhile we will chat live on Facebook or on the telephone, but not very often so to hear from him is rare but it is treasured when I do.

I am not sure if it was weeks or months later but one day out of the blue I received an email message from my uncle saying he had the strangest dream. He then went on to tell me the details of his dream. He had never sent me a detailed email about a dream before this. He had no idea about the prayers I had been praying nor about the dreams I have had and translated, some of which have been prophetic and one which is still coming true now. If you would like to read that one it is called "The Tornado" and it is in my April archives. The other two posts on dreams that I have translated are called "The horse is led to freedom" from March and "Jesus visits me in a dream" from November.

I had prayed that the Lord would send forth his holy warring angels to my uncle and bind up any and all evil, lying deceiving spirits attached to him and remove them from him. I also prayed and asked God if there is any way that I can help him then bring me to his mind and have him communicate with me when the need arises. The fact that he sent me a detailed email about his dream is an answer to the latter part of that prayer. His dream is below:

"I had the weirdest dream the other night at work, while I was sleeping at the hotel. I heard something at my window, so I opened my curtains, and there was an angel or something like it. It had no eyes though which managed to freak the living crap out of me! Its wings were white with gray and bluish tones. It held a a stick with a chain and a spiked ball and wore Roman type clothing. It was at least 8 feet tall and it spoke to me. It said, "It's time." I said I think you have the wrong room lol! I asked time time for what and it said, "It's time for battle" and that's when I woke up. It was so real, and if that is what angels look like I really don't want to meet one! This is the third time this month I have had quasi religous dreams and its all been based on me fighting something evil, and it scares the shit out of me!"

This is how I interpret this dream. My uncle mentions that there was an angel or something like it. It was the "or something like it." The "angel" he saw at the window was, in fact, a "fallen angel" (a demon). Satan and his gang were angels who lived in heaven at one time until pride got the better of Satan and he decided he wanted to be like God, and he was thrown out of heaven along with his gang which happened to be one third of the angels in heaven. Here are some scriptures that explain this:

Isaiah 14:12-14 (NIV)

How you have fallen from heaven, morning star, son of the dawn! You have been cast down to the earth, you who once laid low the nations! You said in your heart, “I will ascend to the heavens; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly, on the utmost heights of Mount Zaphon. I will ascend above the tops of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.”

Revelation 12:9 (NLT)

This great dragon—the ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, the one deceiving the whole world—was thrown down to the earth with all his angels.

Luke 10:18 (NLT)

Jesus said, "Yes, I saw Satan fall from heaven like lightning!"

Revelation 12:7-9 (NIV)

Then war broke out in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back. But he was not strong enough, and they lost their place in heaven. The great dragon was hurled down—that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him.

Revelation 12:4 (NIV)

Its tail swept a third of the stars out of the sky and flung them to the earth . . .

He then goes on to say it had no eyes. These "fallen angels" are from the kingdom of darkness, there is no light in them. This "fallen angel" had black holes where the eyes (the light) should be.

Matthew 6:23 (NLT)

But when your eye is bad, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is!

Angels are filled with light as evidenced in scripture. Below is a description on an angel Daniel saw:

Daniel 10:6 (NIV)

His body was like topaz, his face like lightning, his eyes like flaming torches, his arms and legs like the gleam of burnished bronze, and his voice like the sound of a multitude.

When my uncle saw this "fallen angel" he mentions that it scared him pretty badly. This is another indication that this dream is from Satan as he enjoys instilling fear into people. The weapon he describes the "fallen angel" holding is a medieval weapon called a flail. This "fallen angel" was clearly dressed and prepared for battle, weapon and all. He says it was at least 8 feet tall. From descriptions I have read about people where God had momentarily opened their eyes to the spiritual realm and have seen angels, they have described them to be about 8 feet tall. Since "fallen angels" were angels at one time it would make sense that they would be the same height.

The "fallen angel" said, "It's time for battle." Later on my uncle said to me, "I also had the impression it wasn't him I was to battle with, but beside him." This is the part that truly saddens me and the very reason I felt the urgency from the Holy Spirit to pray these very specific spiritual warfare prayers over him. This "fallen angel" knows my uncle is on his side of this spiritual battle. He also told me this was the third time he had had a "religious dream" that month. This is no coincidence that he was having spiritual warfare dreams at the same time I began to fervently pray spiritual warfare prayers over him.

If you have accepted Jesus into your heart you have nothing to fear. The bible says:

Romans 8:31-39 (The Message)

So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn't gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God's chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture: They kill us in cold blood because they hate you. We're sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one. None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I'm absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.

You need not worry about this spiritual warfare that goes on all around us in the spiritual realms because God has not left us without weapons to fight back. Deceived people need to be freed from the deceptions of Satan and God has equipped us with everything we need. Satan is a defeated foe living on borrowed time and he knows it.

Ephesians 6:10-18 (The Message)

A Fight to the Finish 10-12And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels. Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.

Prayer is one of our most powerful weapons and it should be taken very seriously. It is powerful against the dark spiritual forces in this world. I pray that this post will not only strengthen many of my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, but also that it will shed some light into the truth for those who have areas in their lives where they are still being deceived.

I made a deal with God

As I reflect back on my relationship with Jesus, I can remember a time when I used to notice that certain people seemed to talk about Him and their whole face would light up. They talked about Him like they had just recently hung out with Him at Tim Horton's over coffee and enjoyed a good conversation. I could not understand how that was possible and a part of me envied them for finding that sort of connection.

As a young girl my grandmother used to take me to church with her and as a result I had received Jesus into my heart at a very young age. However, from my teenage years and onward I had forgotten all about Him. I decided I was going to chart my own path in life rather than take the well-thought-out path filled with God's blessings that He had made for me before I was ever born.

Of course this path I had chosen to take for my life was filled with a lot of heartache, much of the heartache was the result of my own bad choices. In an effort to fill that hole in my heart that was reserved only for Jesus, I filled it by seeking the attention of men. As long as I had a man or men vying for my attention I felt like I mattered on this planet. That feeling only lasted a short time and then I would move on to the next man who was vying for my attention. My sense of self-worth and value was like a roller coaster ride.

I know now that this need I had to be noticed by men was the result of not getting the attention or validation I needed from my own father growing up. When I hit my teen years I noticed I could easily capture a guys attention and while it lasted it felt really nice. This was the next best thing and I was willing to settle. I had no idea that my Heavenly Father was perfectly willing and capable and desired to give me the attention and validation that I so desired. He desired a close relationship with me but I brushed Him off for a quick fix that would always lead to heartache.

When I got married I was still walking my own path. I was living in a common-law relationship with my boyfriend for about 1-1/2 years before we got married. At the time I was working for a very difficult boss when I quit right before my wedding. After the honeymoon I began a new job and started to have panic attacks only I had no idea what they were at the time. I thought I was going crazy. They would just randomly hit me out of the blue and leave me terrified wherever I was. I can remember my very first panic attack which was while I was attending a training seminar for my job. I was sure everyone could tell I was freaking out on the inside even though I was carefully hiding any symptoms of distress on the outside.

After I had my son the panic attacks worsened. They came on more often and became much more intense. Eventually I stopped going to the places where I had the panic attacks until I was no longer leaving my home. At this point I became a housebound agoraphobic which meant I could not leave my home for anything. During this time my marriage suffered greatly. My husband had to do everything that required leaving home such as taking our son to the doctor, getting groceries, shopping for clothes or diapers and paying bills, etc.

One evening when my son was almost 4 years old he began to suffer severe abdominal pain. He was in a lot of distress and we could not figure out what was wrong with him. His pain seemed to be worsening over time. My husband had to take him to the emergency room of the hospital and I stayed home due to the agoraphobia. This is going to be hard for you who are mothers to understand. I wanted more than anything to go with my baby boy to the hospital but the fear of the inevitable panic attacks that I knew would follow was greater. It was the worst feeling in the world to stay home and have no idea what was wrong with my baby. I felt so inadequate as his mother, not being able to be by his side in his time of greatest need.

I was all alone and pacing the floors while being worried sick over my son. Finally I sat down at my kitchen table and I made a deal with God. God doesn't normally like to make deals with people but if you don't know any better emotionally or spiritually He will meet you wherever you are. I told God that if He would make sure my son had nothing major wrong with him then I promised I would start reading His Word every day.

Hours later my husband called to let me know that our son was fine and only had constipation. I was so relieved and so thankful. I remembered the deal I made with God and I felt like He had made good on his end of the deal and now I was determined to make good on my end of the deal. When my son returned home from the hospital I hugged him tightly and carefully removed the hospital bracelet from his tiny wrist. At the time I saved that hospital bracelet to remind myself of the deal I had made with God and how He had made good on his end. Now I am glad I saved it because that marks the event and day where I began my close relationship with Jesus. I am attaching a scanned picture of my son's hospital bracelet.

I began by reading "Our Daily Bread" devotionals that are free for anyone who requests them. They are short devotional stories with some scripture to read from the bible. If you are interested in feeding your spirit the same way I started, I am attaching a link to the website where you can order "Our Daily Bread" to be mailed or emailed to you directly. https://www.rbc.org/devotionals/our-daily-bread/order-devotional.aspx

At first I was only merely respecting my end of the bargain. The daily reading time was not sinking in and the words I read didn't mean anything to me. As time went on though I began to notice that I was enjoying my daily reading time I spent with God. I was beginning to feel a peace I could not describe. As time went on even further I began to look forward to my quiet reading time I spent with God. In the beginning I didn't even know that reading His Word meant I was spending time with Him but as time wore on I began to feel His awesome presence. Now I enjoy my quite time with God immensely and if I miss a day or two I feel it and I miss Him.

For those of you who felt like I described in the first paragraph, let me explain to you that starting a relationship with your Heavenly Father is not much different than starting a relationship with someone you are attracted to. The more time you spend with a person the better you know them. You think about them when you go to bed. You think about them when you first wake up. You think about them all throughout your day. You find yourself falling in love with them. The more time you spend with that person the more you begin to talk like them and think like them and act like them.Your desire is to please that person. Your desire is to be with that person. That, minus the romantic side, is what a personal relationship with Jesus is like. Just as a normal relationship suffers if you don't nurture it or spend time with that person, the same goes for your relationship with Jesus. If you take the time to nurture a relationship with Jesus, you will reap a harvest of blessings and rewards you never dreamed of or could have imagined for yourself.

Jesus visits me in a dream

If you read my August post titled "God answers prayers," you will know that I have recently found a long lost niece whom I had not seen for 12 years. I found her on facebook on July 22, 2009. The last time I had seen her she was 3 years old. She is now 15. She had been raised by an aunt and uncle after her mother had passed away at the age of three. After finding her and beginning communication with her I soon learned that she had been kicked out of her home, the place where she had been raised since she was three. She had been uprooted and forced to leave the only home she had ever known. She had to leave her siblings, her friends, her school and the city where she had been raised and move to a small town where another aunt and uncle cared for her.

After hearing about her situation and her strong desire to return to her home city, school and friends, I wondered if there was anything I could do to help. My family moved around a lot when I was growing up. I knew what it felt like to move and change schools. I knew what it felt like to be the new kid in school. High school was even worse, especially in a small town. I prayed about it a lot and asked God for guidance.

Ephesians 1:16-19 (The message)

I ask—ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory—to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for his followers, oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him—endless energy, boundless strength!

One evening I was chatting with her on facebook and I noticed the words forming through my fingers onto our chat screen before I was even aware of what I had typed. It was like my fingers had a mind of their own. I paused and read what I had just typed. I had mentioned something like "if only she could live with me." Before that I had never even entertained the thought of inviting her to live with me. To be honest, it shocked me to see that it had come out so easily. I felt it must have been the work of the Holy Spirit.

At first it seemed my niece was not comfortable with the idea of living with me. I could not blame her being that I was a complete stranger to her. As the beginning of the school year drew nearer however she warmed up to the idea. There were many things that would have to fall into place in order for this to happen. I had a renter living in my basement suite. I relied on the rental income. I was a single mom and a student. I had no other source of income. I would have to give my tenant 30-days notice to move out so that I could have the basement bedroom for her. I would need to find a way to compensate for the loss of income. I prayed about it and I knew that if this was indeed God's will then the pieces would fall into place.

There was also the issue of the panic disorder that I struggled with and I wondered if I could even handle a new person living in my home. My home had always been my "safe place" and whenever I had anyone in my home I often became very anxious and sometimes panicky. I asked God if I was ready and able to do this and more importantly if He wanted me to do this? I questioned whether I was able to take on such a responsibility. The Holy Spirit brought the following scripture to mind:

2 Corinthians 12:9 (The message)

My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride.."

One afternoon while I was feeding my spirit by reading God's Word, I came across a scripture that spoke to me. This was after I had been praying and asking God if He wanted me to open up my home to my niece and take care of her. This is the scripture:

Psalm 146:9 (NLT)

The Lord protects the foreigners among us. He cares for the orphans and widows, but he frustrates the plans of the wicked.

I had always thought of my niece as an orphan. She had lost her mom at the tender young age of three and shortly after that she had lost her dad too. I felt like God was saying that my taking her under my wing and into my home was His way of caring for his child, my niece. If I wanted to take it one step further I could consider myself the widow in this scripture. I lost my husband, only it was not to death and now God was providing the way to care for both of us.

On the evening of August 12, 2009, during the period of time when I was questioning whether I would be capable enough to take on this responsibility I had a dream. I was standing in a large crowd feeling the way I usually do in real life when I am standing amongst a group of people. I was feeling intimidated, shy and insecure. I was feeling like no one wanted to hear what I had to say nor did anyone care, like I had nothing significant to contribute to any conversation.

All of a sudden this tall, dark man walks up behind me. I can't remember if he placed his hands on each side of my head or on my shoulders be he stood directly behind me. He pressed his nose into the back of my head and took a deep breath, like he was enjoying the smell of my hair. Then he said, "Do you know how special you are?" Instantly I felt so loved, so secure and so special.

The memory of that dream did not come back to me until later on in the day. When I remembered the dream those strong feelings of love and security came flooding back. Instantly I was overwhelmed with the feeling of how much God loved me and how special I was to Him. It was at that moment that I realized the man in my dream was Jesus and this dream was a message from God. He was reassuring me that I was ready and able to do what I needed to do because it was part of His plan. Do you want to hear the funniest part though? In my dream He looked like that actor Brendan Fraser in the movie “Blast from the Past.”

I told my brother and my parents about my intentions to help my niece. The rest was up to God. I soon found out that my parents and my brother (her father) would be willing to pay "child support" if she were to live with me. That along with the scriptures and the dream was all the confirmation I needed to move forward with the plan.

Ephesians 3:20 (The message)

God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.

The Tornado

April 2, 2009

During my time with God in my sunny spot on the couch this morning, I was reading from 1 Samuel chapter eight to ten. Samuel was getting old so he appointed his sons as judges over Israel; however, his sons were perverting justice and the Israelites asked Samuel to appoint for them a king to rule over them. The Lord told Samuel that the Israelites were rejecting Him as their King and informed Samuel that he will give them a king who will rule over them. This king would be Saul. When Samuel informed Saul about the Lord’s plan Saul responded by saying he was from the smallest tribe of Israel and his family was the least of all families. He could not understand why Samuel would say such a thing.

Samuel took a vial of oil and poured it on Saul’s head, anointed him and kissed him. He told Saul who he would meet as he went home and what would happen on his journey. When Saul reached the hill of God, the Spirit of the Lord came upon him mightily and he showed himself a prophet. 1 Samuel 10:6 (AMP) actually says he was turned into another man and 1 Samuel 10:9 (AMP) says God gave him a new heart.

After I finished read this, I was sitting on the couch pondering how it must feel to have the Spirit of the Lord come upon you. The Holy Spirit brought to my mind a dream I had that I call “The Tornado.” (I just realized this now as I am typing this, but I had this dream on April 1, 2005 which is almost exactly four years to the day.)

The Lord was revealing to me a clearer understanding of that prophetic dream. In my dream I was taking shelter from a tornado inside a wooden hut. Inside the shelter are two friends of mine. Suddenly a man enters the shelter. I take one look at him and I instantly know that I love Him and He loves me and that He is sent to me from God. He yells that the tornado has touched down and is headed toward us. The tornado rips the door of the wooden hut off its hinges. It starts to pull the Man I love. He reaches out His hand and I place my right hand in His and He holds me tight. I turn around and ask my friends to grab my hand but they don’t move. They are too afraid; I can see it in their eyes. The forces of the winds are pulling me towards the open door. It is at this moment I realize that I have to decide if I am going to let go of this Man’s hand and save myself or not. I decide not to let go of His hand. The tornado is right over top of us now and it rips the roof off. The Man, whose hand I am holding, and I get sucked up into the middle of the tornado.

I have just explained to you the first part of my dream. Before today, I have always wondered if that tornado dream was, in fact, prophetic, but after today I am convinced it is. I just watched an interview this morning on It’s A New Day with author W. Paul Young who wrote the book “The Shack.” Paul was describing that the shack he refers to in his book is his heart. I have heard that this book is really good and it is on my summer reading list.

The Lord then reveals to me the meaning of the first part of my dream. The wooden hut that I hide inside for shelter is my heart. I never realized that before. Do you see the similarities from Paul’s book? I never would have thought of that if I had not just watched the program. It is amazing how God uses people to speak to us. The Man who enters my heart is Jesus. Before I realized the wooden hut represented my heart, I was not sure what the meaning was of the man in this dream but now it is crystal clear. I had this dream after I had asked Jesus into my heart. After Jesus enters my heart the door is ripped off its hinges and the roof it torn off. This symbolizes that Jesus had begun working in my heart. When He entered my heart, it was full of thick, tall walls all the way around it to shelter myself from the world and the people in it. Jesus was breaking down those walls, the very walls I had so carefully put up, brick by brick, after each wounding in my heart took place.

Philippians 1:6 (NIV)
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

The friends inside the wooden hut represent my old life, my old nonbelieving friends and the fleshly things of this world. Once I am holding Jesus’ hand I am given the choice of either letting His hand go or hanging on for dear life. Either I can hold on to the fleshly desires and things of this world, hold on to the bitterness, the resentment, the anger, the unforgiveness, etc., or I can choose to not let go of Him and let Him transform me into a new person.

2 Corinthians 5:17 (NLT)
This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

It is interesting to me that in my dream I had to decide if I was going to let go of this Man’s hand and save myself or not. The funny thing is, I chose not to let go of His hand and that is exactly what I needed to do in order to be saved. I thought that if I let go I would save myself but I was only fooling myself by believing that lie. Satan often tries to make the things of this world seem so appealing that we don’t want to or don’t think we can give them up. For example, after accepting Jesus into your heart He might start dealing with you about all of those little white lies you tell throughout your day, or he may start dealing with you about how you need to stop drinking alcohol and hanging with certain friends that are bad influences.

I will continue now with the next part of my tornado dream. The roof has just been ripped off the wooden hut and the Man and I have been sucked up into the midst of the tornado. Inside I am spinning around and around. Dust and debris are flying all around me. I am screaming at the top of my lungs, feeling as if I am going to die. I am terrified for my life. Suddenly, I am thrown from the tornado and I land on my knees in the mud. I am badly injured. I look beside me and the Man whose hand I was holding is also on His knees in the mud right by my side.

I believe the tornado symbolizes the tests and trials in my life. The tornado symbolizes my divorce and the years that led up to it. The tornado symbolizes the panic disorder with agoraphobia that hit me hard and stopped me dead in my tracks in 1995. The tornado symbolizes all of the other hardships I have endured throughout my life. Remember how I described feeling like I was going to die and being terrified for my life in the midst of the tornado? That is exactly how I feel in the midst of a panic attack. I also believe the tornado symbolizes how God deals with us about old baggage from our past that he needs us to deal with and face in order to bring healing and restoration in our lives. The amazing part that brings tears to my eyes is finding out that Jesus is going through it right beside me. Jesus is right by my side. Isn’t He amazing? He will never let go of your hand. God does not promise us we will never have to endure hardships but He does promise He will never leave us.

Hebrews 13:5 (NLT)
“I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”

Although I have had panic disorder with levels of agoraphobia for 13 years now, I truly believe that if the Lord had not allowed this to happen to me, I never would have turned to Him. Before the agoraphobia and panic I was so full of myself, so selfish and conceited. It was during the lowest part of my marriage and the lowest point of the panic disorder that I hit rock bottom. I had nowhere left to turn and I had no idea how I was going to survive anything else in my life. I finally stopped looking inside myself to try to save myself and I looked up. When I looked up I found a loving, caring Father with His arms stretched out towards me, waiting patiently for me to come to Him; for me to choose Him.

I will continue now with the next part of my dream. I am on my knees in the mud with the Man beside me. Some people gather us up and take us into a large school for shelter and safety. I am injured and limping yet I go right to work helping the volunteers by serving juice and snacks to the scared children inside. I stop once in awhile and tell them a funny story to make them laugh. Someone announces that the storm is heading towards the school. They warn everyone to stay away from the windows and doors or risk being sucked out. I look out a window and I see more kids outside running towards the school. All of the doors are locked from the outside. I look around and not one person is willing to risk their life to go and open the door for the children outside. I run over to the door and let the remaining children inside. The door is being pulled so hard by the strong winds, I cannot pull it shut. I leave it open and stand back, waiting for the storm to pass over.

The part in my dream where I am injured and limping symbolizes how my heart and soul have been injured in my past but I don’t let that stop me from serving God. I am then serving juice and snacks to the children inside and trying to make them laugh. I want to see joy on their faces. This is my desire now to serve the Lord with all of my heart and to share what God has done for me in my life. The children are, of course, all people (God’s children). Even though I still suffer with panic disorder and agoraphobia, I do not let that stop me from my desire to share God’s work in my life and what He has done for me. My desire is to see others find the same joy that I have found in Jesus. I have begun to do so by creating this blog. It is not always easy to share the intimate details of my life but I feel the Lord has asked me to do this in order to help others.

There are more parts to this tornado dream but I cannot share them with you at this time as I feel this dream is prophetic and the Lord has not yet revealed to me the remainder of the meaning of this dream. I hope that my story has brought you some comfort and hope.

And The Healing Begins....

The Horse Is Led To Freedom

(This dream occurred during my first year as a single mom. If you have read my other posts in my blog then you already know how I feel about dreams. If you have not yet read my March post titled, "Dreams and the Scripture," then it would be best if you read that post before continuing to read this one.)

(In this dream, I am still married)

It is late fall and my husband is gone away on a hunting trip. He returns home with his hunting buddies. They are unloading the weeks' kill off their trucks and hanging the skinned, gutted corpses from the hind feet in our cold garage to dry. I notice they have also brought back with them a live horse. I ask them why and they tell me the farmer was going to put it down because it is too skittish so they asked if they could have it. They unload the horse and tie her up in the driveway beside our house. She is a beautiful horse, chocolate brown with the only white on her being a stripe down her nose. I get as close to the horse as she will allow which is not too close. I start to sing to her and she seems to be calmed and soothed by my presence and my singing.

My husband's hunting buddies untie the horse and take her to the back alley. My husband tells them, "No, you can't kill the horse yet, remember the farmer said she has to have a good morning run before we shoot her, otherwise her meat won't be any good to eat." His buddies say, "Oh, that's right, then we will leave the horse in your back yard for the night and let her loose in the morning for a good run before we shoot her."

I am completely distraught upon hearing this news. I start to cry and I scream, "You can't kill this horse!" My husband and his hunting buddies just look at me and laugh. I am running in and out of the house trying to figure out how to save this poor horse from her unfortunate circumstances. My son is in the house and he asks, "why are you crying mom?" I explain it to him.

At this point I wake up from my dream to find that not only was I crying in my dream, but I was also crying out loud for real in my sleep which is what woke me from my dream. It was one of those gut-wrenching type of cries where your entire stomach feels like it is in one huge tight knot. I sat up in bed and my stomach was so tense it felt like I had just finished doing about 100 sit-ups.

THE END

(Translation of this dream)

This was one of those dreams that I woke up from, knowing it meant something. The intense emotions I felt during that dream remained with me for weeks. I often pray and ask God if the dream had any significance and to please help me translate the dream so I could understand what it meant. The following is my interpretation of the above dream.

Dreams are often very symbolic and I know in this dream the horse repesents me. That is no big surprise since I love animals so much and horses have always been one of my favorites. The horse is skittish, afraid of people. That would describe me in a lot of ways. That is most likely why, I believe, I developed the panic disorder I now have called "Agoraphobia." I have been hurt by many people in my lifetime and I learned from a young age that people could not be trusted. While growing up, I always liked animals better than people. I knew I could trust animals, it was people I had a problem trusting. I was also an extremely shy young girl and I still am to a point.

When my husband and his hunting buddies are laughing at me, that would represent how I thought they felt about me. I felt like they, mainly meaning my husband, see me as disposable and useless. This would explain my feelings about my husband leaving me. The horse being tied up and in an unfortunate situation symbolizes how I felt in my relationship with my husband. In my marriage I had felt trapped, isolated and alone.

I knew this dream had meaning but I did not know this was a dream from God until later that same day when I was checking my email. A christian friend of mine from across the globe had sent me an ecard. I opened the card and I could not believe my eyes. On the card was a picture of a horse, a chocolate brown horse with a white stripe down the nose. It was exactly the same as the horse in my dream. There was one huge difference between the horse in my dream and the horse in the card. The horse in my dream was trapped. The horse in the card is at peace, running "free" through a lush green field, beside a sparkling stream with flowers budding on the trees. I had not told my friend about my dream.

When I saw the horse running free in the ecard, the emotions I had felt in my dream came flooding back with tremendous intensity. I could not help but cry. I reached out and touched the horse on my computer monitor and whispered, "You are free now."

I feel that God used my friend from across the globe to send a message to me regarding my dream. I feel He was telling me that "I am free now, free from the toxic marriage" and He is filling me with his perfect peace. Think about it, my friend from across the globe sends me an ecard the very same day I have this terribly sad dream. The horse in the card looks exactly like the one in my dream only it is running free and at total peace. This is not a coincidence! This is a message from the Lord and I receive it loud and clear. He is taking such good care of me.

I am attaching a link to the ecard I had received for you to enjoy. If you click on the "read" sign at the bottom of the card and read the words, then at the end you will notice a sparkling effect above the stream.

http://www.riversongs.com/Fla/ways.html

He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside still waters.

Psalm 23:2

God still uses dreams to speak to us

I believe the Lord can and will speak to us in our dreams, giving us messages of hope, prophecy or peace to name a few. If we pay close attention to our dreams, they will sometimes have very clear messages for us. The reason I believe this to be true is purely backed up by scripture.

Numbers 12:6 (NIV)
He said, “Listen to my words:
When a prophet of the LORD is among you,
I reveal myself to him in visions,
I speak to him in dreams.”

Joel 2:28 and Acts 2:17(NIV)
"And afterward, I will pour out my Spirit on all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy,
your old men will dream dreams,
your young men will see visions.”

One of my favourite examples of this in scripture is the story of Joseph and his dreams of prophecy.

Genesis 37: 5-9 (NIV)
Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him all the more. He said to them, “Listen to this dream I had: We were binding sheaves of grain out in the field when suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright, while your sheaves gathered around mine and bowed down to it.”
His brothers said to him, “Do you intend to reign over us? Will you actually rule us?” And they hated him all the more because of his dream and what he had said.
Then he had another dream, and he told it to his brothers. “Listen,” he said, “I had another dream, and this time the sun and moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me.”

This is a wonderful example of a dream of prophecy. It is another example of the symbolism I spoke of earlier. In Genesis 42, Joseph is now the governor of the land, selling grain to the people during the seven years of famine. Jacob (his father) sends his brothers to go buy grain from him. When his brothers arrived, they bowed down to Joseph, not knowing who he was. Joseph recognized them immediately. Joseph’s prophetic dream is brought to completion.

In the New Testament God speaks to Joseph (another Joseph) in a dream to explain his fiancé’s pregnancy.

Matthew 1:20 (NIV)
But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.”

And then again God warns Joseph in a dream when baby Jesus’ life is in danger.

Matthew 2:13 (NIV)
When they had gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. “Get up,” he said, “take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you, for Herod is going to search for the child to kill him.”

There are many more examples of dreams in the Bible; I have only mentioned a few. I am speaking from personal experience when I tell you that God still speaks to us in dreams. Check back here every once in awhile and you will see new postings of some of my own personal dreams and my interpretations of those dreams.

You may be saying to yourself, “I don’t dream” or, “I can’t remember my dreams.” Everyone dreams, it is just a matter of training yourself to remember them. Keep a pen and paper beside your bed. You are most likely to remember your dreams when you first get up. Just jot down key points or words. Sometimes you may find yourself waking up in the middle of the night from a very vivid dream. Grab your pen and paper and jot down key words. I did that once in the middle of the night. My room was completely dark. I fumbled around looking for my paper and began writing words down in the dark. I had no idea if it would be legible in the morning, but when I woke up I was actually able to read my chicken scratch. When you have more time later in the day, come back to your notes and, to the best of your ability, write or type out your dream.

When you are writing out your dream, try to remember the key events, key characters, colors, sounds, music, feelings you had in the dream, etc. Once you have finished writing out your dream, you can begin the process of interpreting. I find there is a lot of symbolism in dreams. For instance, something like a bird or other animal may symbolize you in your dream. Ask God for help interpreting your dream. Ask Him if this dream has any significance and for understanding and guidance.

I am not in any way saying that all dreams are messages from God. Some are just what I like to call yesterday’s trash. Some can just be leftovers from watching a movie or television show the night before or too much pizza, spicy food or chips before bed. I am talking about the dreams where you wake up with strong feelings or emotions. Sometimes those emotions stay with you throughout the day.

I just recently came across a website where another Christian has posted a write-up called, “Dreams: God’s Forgotten Language??” I have attached the link below if you are interesting in reading more:

http://www.actsweb.org/daily.php?id=1663

I hope you have enjoyed this post. God bless you.