The Grief Nobody Sees

Everyone is gone,

I'm all alone in the house.

Now I'm free to express the great sadness I feel.

I'm free to acknowledge the deep loss I'm experiencing.

I let the tears I've kept inside flow freely now.

I'm free to express the overwhelming sadness.

It's a sadness I cannot honestly or freely express with others,

because I fear they won't understand my sorrow. 

I go in search of that favorite toy,

I hold onto it tenderly,

I recall the fond memories it brings to my mind.

Then I search for the blanket that still holds his scent.

I hold it to my nose,

I close my eyes,

And I breath in deeply.

I can still smell him.

If I keep my eyes closed long enough,

Maybe I can pretend he's still here,

Sleeping in this blanket. 

I wipe my tears with his favorite stuffed toy,

It only seems right. 

I miss saying his name,

I call out his name into the empty room,

But it's only met with silence.

The house feels too empty,

Too quiet.
He saw me at my best,
And he saw me at my worst.
He never judged me once,
And he loved me unconditionally.

I'll never hear the pitter patter of his tiny paws.

I'll never feel his tender kisses on my cheek. 

I can't bring myself to move his water bowl or food dish. 

I haven't been able to put away his medicine.

It still sits on my cupboard,

Reminding me daily of my loss,

The medicine that allowed us,

More quality time together. 

How do I say goodbye to you?

In memory of my special little guy

Geist!