Blessing in Disguise

This Thanksgiving long weekend has me thinking about the things for which I'm grateful, the most recent being a new job. In September 2016, I started working for a group of 5 doctors. It didn't take me long to realize this was not the type of work I wanted to do long term.

Originally, I had completed a course in medical transcription and at one point I ran my own home-based transcription business. When voice-to-text software became available, I lost a major account and was forced to look for work elsewhere. Working for these 5 doctors was my second job in a doctor's office. This job gave me opportunities to do some transcription work, but unfortunately there were many other demands for my time as well. I became increasingly unhappy in my work. I updated my resume and actively began searching for something else.

On Friday, August 24, 2018, two of my doctor bosses called me into their office to talk. They sat down on one side of the desk and I sat across from them. The tension in the air felt almost tangible. One of them was breathing fast and shallow. I knew whatever he was about to say was not going to be good. He proceeded to say that due to staffing issues they had to let me go. This news was completely unexpected. I took a deep breath. I sensed God's presence and in my spirit I heard Him say, "You're going to be OK. Stay calm! I want you to receive this news with grace. The way you respond is going to speak volumes." I could see how nervous they both were. I calmly accepted the news and listened to their explanations. I could tell they felt bad. When they were done, I calmly asked them to keep me in mind if they ever hear about a job opening in the transcription department at the hospital.

I delivered the news to my coworkers, packed my things and went out for lunch with one of my coworker friends. I was feeling rejected which never feels good and wondering "why me." When I arrived at home my cell phone rang. It was one of my bosses. He had gone straight to the hospital to work after speaking with me and made a few phone calls. He gave me the name and number of the person I needed to contact about a transcription job at the hospital. I set up an interview, did some tests and was offered the job.

Exactly one month after being let go, I began working for the transcription department at the hospital. The hospital is Catholic so there are pictures of Jesus and crosses everywhere. There is a chapel and every morning there is a prayer that goes out across the sound system. I love my new job and I'm very happy.

God is good! He had a plan and because I followed his guidance I was able to move forward into that plan.

The Grief Nobody Sees

Everyone is gone,

I'm all alone in the house.

Now I'm free to express the great sadness I feel.

I'm free to acknowledge the deep loss I'm experiencing.

I let the tears I've kept inside flow freely now.

I'm free to express the overwhelming sadness.

It's a sadness I cannot honestly or freely express with others,

because I fear they won't understand my sorrow. 

I go in search of that favorite toy,

I hold onto it tenderly,

I recall the fond memories it brings to my mind.

Then I search for the blanket that still holds his scent.

I hold it to my nose,

I close my eyes,

And I breath in deeply.

I can still smell him.

If I keep my eyes closed long enough,

Maybe I can pretend he's still here,

Sleeping in this blanket. 

I wipe my tears with his favorite stuffed toy,

It only seems right. 

I miss saying his name,

I call out his name into the empty room,

But it's only met with silence.

The house feels too empty,

Too quiet.
He saw me at my best,
And he saw me at my worst.
He never judged me once,
And he loved me unconditionally.

I'll never hear the pitter patter of his tiny paws.

I'll never feel his tender kisses on my cheek. 

I can't bring myself to move his water bowl or food dish. 

I haven't been able to put away his medicine.

It still sits on my cupboard,

Reminding me daily of my loss,

The medicine that allowed us,

More quality time together. 

How do I say goodbye to you?

In memory of my special little guy

Geist!

She's Pregnant!

I had been working at the same job for about 2 years. My newest coworker I had been working with for about 9 months. One day I walked past her desk and I felt the Lord say to me in my Spirit, "this young lady is pregnant and scared, I want you to encourage her." I should know better because this has happened before, but I questioned what I heard. I wondered if it was an overactive imagination. I thought about how silly I would look if this "feeling I had" was wrong. I must admit, I did cheat a little. When my pregnant coworker was not in the room, I wrote on a small sticky note, "She is pregnant!" and held it up for another coworker. They are friends outside of the office and I knew if anyone knows she is pregnant it would be her. Her "how did you know?" response put my mind at ease. 

A few days passed and I had gone shopping for a small gift and an encouraging card to give to my coworker. On this particular day she had to leave work early for a doctor's appointment. I told her to come talk to me before she leaves because I had a present I wanted to give to her in private. When she was about to leave I met her in the kitchen and gave her the gift. Since I knew no other coworkers knew about her pregnancy, I told her to open it later. She looked a bit confused but smiled and left. 

Later on I received a text from her asking how I knew and that I made her cry, in a good way. I told her God told me. To this day I'm still not sure if she believes me or if she believes her coworker friend told me, but I'm glad I listened to the voice of the Lord and had the opportunity to bless her. Being a new mom is scary and we all need encouragement sometimes. 

The Promotion

It was Tuesday morning on August 9, 2016. I was on my way to a 9 a.m. echocardiogram appointment. My family physician had recently discovered a heart murmur and set up this appointment to get more details. I like to pray when I'm driving to work. I decided to pray for a promotion. I had been working at my current job for almost 2 years and had not yet received a pay raise. With the cost of living going up each year and my wage staying the same, I saw the need for increase. I asked God to grant me favour at work so that I would get a raise. I also said if that's not going to happen then please open the door and give me favour in the way of a new, better-paying job. I thanked Him for hearing my prayers and told Him I trusted that He was at work, behind the scenes, in my life. 

I was wearing my work scrubs that morning since I was going straight to work after my appointment. While the sonographer performed my echo she asked me where I worked and what I did. She mentioned they were hiring and asked if I might be interested. I thought, sure why not, so I said sure. When she was finished she introduced me to the lady who was setting up the interviews for the new medical office assistant position. We set up an interview appointment for August 11 right after work. I had walked in for an ultrasound of my heart and walked out with a job interview. Holy Smokes! As I walked out of the clinic, I could not believe what had just happened. I recognized it as God granting me favour immediately. 

As soon as I finished work on August 11 I went straight to the job interview. They had people coming and going for interviews. I sat down and waited for my name to be called. I prayed and told God that I trusted Him and if this was His way of providing better finances for me then I wouldn't worry about what to say at the interview. I quickly thought about a number in my head on what type of a wage I was expecting just in case they asked that question. I took a deep breath and left it in God's hands. 

My name was called. I was my turn. I walked into a room that had 3 out of the 5 cardiologists sitting there waiting to interview me at a long conference room table. The office manager was there as well. One of the first questions they asked was how much was I expecting to be paid. I spit out the number I had come up with a few minutes earlier. The interview lasted longer than the previous lady's interview before me. It went very well. One of the doctors commented that I interview very well. We wrapped things up, shook hands and I left feeling very good about it. 

Saturday afternoon, August 13, 2016, I was shopping at Michael's craft store. I received a text message from one of the doctors who interviewed me. They were about to send me an email with a job offer in a few minutes and just wanted to confirm my information. I could not believe I was hearing from them so soon, and on the weekend yet. The offer was exactly what I had asked for, plus I was going to have my own indoor parkade parking spot. No more having to scrape snow and ice off my windshield or brave the elements. I knew this was the promotion I was praying for. I accepted the offer. My first day at the new clinic was September 6, 2016. 

Was I nervous? You bet I was! I was leaving the comfort and familiarity of my current job. I was leaving behind some very good coworker friends whom I knew I was going to miss. I was walking into completely foreign territory. I didn't know a soul, but since I knew God was leading me to this new place, He equipped me with the inner confidence and peace I needed. 

On August 21 as I was spending time reading God's Word, He confirmed this new job was from Him by leading me to a scripture that reads:

Deuteronomy 1:21

Look, the Lord your God has set the land before you; go up and possess it, as the Lord God of your fathers has spoken to you, do not fear or be discouraged.

God was basically saying to me personally, "Look, I have setup a new office job for you, go up to the 9th floor and possess it, as the Lord God of your father (who has recently joined me) has spoken to you, do not fear or be discouraged. Wow God!!! I started my new job one day shy of being exactly one month since my dad's funeral. 

My Bible Art Entry

How things were changing so quickly in my life. My only concern now was how to avoid leaving a giant oil puddle on my parking spot floor. My van leaked oil and I was embarrassed at the thought of one of them noticing my puddle or my old van. The driver's door handle no longer worked so I either had to have the window down so I could reach in, unlock and open my door or I had to climb in through the passenger side. Also, my driver's power window no longer went up so it was pretty much permanently halfway down. Needless to say, it made my drives very interesting and challenging during days of precipitation and cold. 

As if this new job promotion was not enough, my mom came across a vehicle my uncle was trying to sell. With some of the money she inherited from my dad's passing, she decided to buy me this new car. I went from driving an old 1995 Pontiac Trans Sport van to a 2007 Buick Allure. God is Amazing!

God Fund Me

The week my dad passed away in August 2016, I decided I needed to take that week off from work to grieve, spend time with family and prepare for his funeral. Aside from feeling the heavy weight of sadness, my only other concern at that time was whether I could afford to take a week off as my job didn't pay bereavement leave. 

A good friend and coworker of mine was always checking in on me and asking me how I was doing, offering her support, etc. I decided to confide in her about my concern. Just being able to unload that concern and share it with someone who understood helped. That wasn't the only feelings I shared with her at that time, I shared many as I processed what was happening. 

I can't remember exactly but I think it was the very next day, I receive a message from my coworker friend who told me she and her husband started a "Go Fund Me" account in the hopes of raising a couple hundred dollars to help out. They sent me the link and hoped I would be OK with it. I was so touched by their kind hearts, I was more than OK with it. Within 24 hours the "Go Fund Me" page raised over $1000. I could not believe my eyes. The kindness and generosity of strangers and coworkers brought me to "happy" tears. Here is a link to the page:

https://www.gofundme.com/2hkozvg

The outpouring of love and support I received not only from my coworker friend and her husband, but all of those who financially supported me lightened my burden. Being able to share my concerns and feelings and receive the love and support helped me through an extremely difficult time. I like to think of it as the "God Fund Me" account. I feel like God used what my friend and her husband started by giving me favor with the generous people who supported the cause. I will never forget what my coworker and her husband did for me. They are the sweetest, cutest couple ever and I will forever keep them in my prayers.